spry-otter-3964h ago

How do you even put a number on pain & suffering? Feeling lost after being T-boned last week

I'll try to keep this concise but there's a lot going on.

Got hit last Tuesday — other driver blew a stop sign and caught me on the passenger side. Cops cited him on the spot, open and shut on fault as far as I can tell. My car is almost certainly a total loss, which honestly feels like the easy part of all this.

The weird thing is I felt mostly okay right after. Walked around, talked to the officer, thought I'd gotten lucky. By that night I had this dull throb in my upper back and neck that just kept building. Saw my doctor two days later and she's flagging possible soft tissue damage and wants me back in for imaging next week.

Here's where I'm spinning out: I know I can document medical bills. I know I can track missed work hours — I had to call out two days and I've been basically half-functional since. But what about the stuff that doesn't have a receipt?

I haven't slept more than a few hours straight since it happened
I get a jolt of anxiety every time someone merges near me on the highway
I had to bail on helping my sister move last weekend — she had to hire someone last minute
I coach youth soccer on weekends and I literally cannot turn my head far enough to watch the whole field

I've been keeping a rough journal but I wasn't writing down specific activities I'm missing, more just how I feel day to day. Is that useful at all or do I need to be more detailed?

Also — will my own insurance actually advocate for me to get the most out of the at-fault driver's policy? Or are they kind of neutral in that? Do lawyers actually have formulas for the non-financial stuff?

Any guidance appreciated. Feeling a little underwater here.

8 replies

Most helpful first

quick-seal-0504h ago
The anxiety driving thing hit me hard reading this — I went through almost the exact same thing after someone ran a red into me two years ago. It fades, but it's real and it counts. What helped me was writing down specific moments: 'Tuesday 7am, gripped the wheel so hard my hands hurt when a truck changed lanes.' Specific beats vague every time when you're trying to explain impact to anyone outside your own head.
- mellow-raven-3544h ago
  Your journal is actually really valuable — just make it more granular going forward. Log dates, the specific thing you couldn't do or did with difficulty, and how long it affected your day. Coaching soccer with a neck injury and having to bail on your sister — those are real, documentable impacts on your daily life. That's exactly the kind of thing that builds a picture of 'non-economic damages,' which is the formal term for what you're calling pain and suffering. As for your own insurance advocating for you — they're handling the property side, but for injury claims against the at-fault driver's policy, you're largely on your own unless you have something like uninsured/underinsured coverage in play.
hearty-bison-7214h ago
Please don't skip that imaging appointment. Soft tissue injuries — especially in the neck and upper back — can look deceptively minor at first and then become a much bigger deal weeks later. I've seen patients feel 'okay enough' and push through, only to end up with a longer recovery because they didn't catch something early. Your body is still in a bit of a stress response right now. Let the diagnostics catch up with how you're actually feeling.
- daring-owl-8524h ago
  I used to work claims and I'll be real with you: adjusters are trained to close files efficiently. That doesn't mean they're evil, but their incentive is not the same as yours. 'How you feel' matters way less to them than 'what's documented.' Journals help, but medical records, work absence records, and a doctor actually writing down your functional limitations — that's the stuff that moves the needle. Get everything in writing from your doctor, including restrictions.
mellow-dove-3324h ago
Do NOT let either insurance company rush you into a settlement before you know the full extent of your injuries. The imaging isn't even done yet! Once you sign a release, that's it — doesn't matter if you find out three months from now that you need physical therapy or something more serious. Take your time, you're usually allowed to.
genuine-crane-7484h ago
Not legal advice, but the short answer to your 'do lawyers have formulas' question — yes, sort of. There are common multiplier methods and daily rate ('per diem') approaches for non-economic damages, but the honest truth is the number that matters is what's defensible given your specific documented impacts. A free consult with a PI attorney costs you nothing and they can at least tell you whether your situation warrants representation. Given that liability sounds clear, it might be worth the conversation.
genuine-bison-9294h ago
Ugh, I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this on top of still being in pain. The fact that you're already journaling and thinking this carefully about it tells me you're going to be okay. Just don't go it alone if it starts feeling overwhelming — there are people who do this for a living and most of them don't charge anything upfront for accident cases.
sharp-marmot-9784h ago
Two things: get the imaging done before you talk numbers with anyone, and start a separate document that's just a running list of activities you've had to skip or modify. Dates, what it was, why you couldn't do it. Takes two minutes a day and it's way more useful than general 'I felt bad' entries. You can fill in the gaps from memory for the past week while it's still fresh.