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Writing my own demand letter — how much medical paperwork do I actually send?

So I'm at the stage where I'm putting together a demand letter to the at-fault driver's insurance. Liability isn't in dispute — they admitted it in writing pretty early on, so that part's settled. Now it's just about the money.

Here's my situation: I have a decent stack of records. ER visit, follow-ups with my GP, a few months of physio, and some imaging. That's a lot of paper. My question is whether I dump ALL of it on them upfront or just send a clean summary and let them ask for specifics if they want to dig in.

Also — do I put an actual number in the letter? Like a specific dollar amount I'm demanding? Or do I just lay out the itemized costs (medical bills, lost wages, mileage to appointments, etc.) and let them come back with an opening offer?

I'm doing this without a lawyer, which I know some people will side-eye, but liability is clear and my damages feel pretty straightforward. I just don't want to accidentally undercut myself or hand them something they can use against me.

Has anyone actually written their own demand letter and gotten through the negotiation? What did you include? Did having more documentation help or did it feel like overkill? Really appreciate any real-world experience here — the generic "consult an attorney" stuff isn't super useful when I'm trying to understand the mechanics of this.

8replies

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8 replies

  • 15
    calm-swan-890

    One thing people forget: make sure your records clearly show the connection between the accident and your treatment. If there's any gap in care or anything that looks unrelated, the adjuster will latch onto it. If your doctor wrote notes that explicitly link your symptoms to the crash, those are gold — include those. If the records are vague about causation, it might be worth asking your provider to write a brief narrative summary before you send anything.

  • 15
    humble-swan-755

    How long ago was the accident and are you fully recovered or still treating? Because that changes things a lot. If you're still going to physio or have unresolved symptoms, sending a demand letter now might lock you into a lower number before you know your full costs. Just want to make sure you're not jumping the gun here.

  • 12
    quiet-marten-822

    Be really careful about sending EVERYTHING. Adjusters are trained to find inconsistencies across documents and use them to chip away at your claim. One note that says your pain was a '3 out of 10' on a good day and suddenly that's their whole argument. I'd send a clear summary with totals, keep the backup documentation ready, and only provide the full records if they push for them in writing.

    • 12
      kind-stoat-309

      Honest answer from someone who used to be on their side: yes, put a number in the letter. A demand letter without a number isn't really a demand — it's just a conversation starter and they'll treat it that way. As for documentation, a well-organized summary with an itemized breakdown reads better than a chaotic pile of records. Attach the bills and a concise medical summary. Keep the raw clinical notes in your back pocket unless they specifically request them. Organized claimants get taken more seriously, full stop.

    • 11
      humble-dove-826

      A few things worth knowing: your demand number should include not just your hard costs (bills, lost wages, out-of-pocket expenses) but also a figure for pain and suffering — that's often calculated as a multiple of your medical expenses, though it varies. Don't anchor too low because you WILL negotiate down from whatever you open with, not up. Also, make sure your letter references that liability was accepted in writing and ideally cite the date of that communication. Little details like that matter when you're doing this yourself.

  • 3
    wise-newt-788

    I went through almost this exact thing about two years ago. I sent everything upfront — every receipt, every appointment summary, the works. In hindsight I think it actually helped because it made it harder for them to claim they didn't know the full picture. They couldn't come back later and say 'well we didn't have that.' That said, it took me forever to organize it all. Whatever you do, definitely put a number in the letter. If you leave it open-ended they'll lowball you and call it an opening offer.

    • 7
      steady-vole-282

      Send the bills and a timeline. Demand a specific number — higher than you'd actually settle for, because they will negotiate. Don't overthink the documentation strategy. If they want more they'll ask, and then you send it.

  • 2
    swift-swift-298

    The fact that liability is already locked down in writing puts you in a genuinely strong position — a lot of people spend months fighting over fault before they even get to this stage. You're basically just negotiating the number now, which is so much simpler. Take your time with the letter, be thorough, and don't let them rush you into a quick settlement.