clear-kestrel-5482h ago

18 months post-crash and I've completely fallen off with staying active — anyone else?

I don't even know how to start this without sounding like I'm whining, but here goes.

Before my accident I was genuinely one of those people who loved moving. Hiking on weekends, pickup basketball twice a week, morning runs — it was just part of who I was. Then a rear-end collision at a highway on-ramp took that version of me and kind of... erased it.

I ended up with a badly herniated disc in my lower back, a fractured collarbone, and what my neurologist calls a 'mild' traumatic brain injury (nothing about it feels mild, but okay). The collarbone healed. The brain fog comes and goes. The back is the thing that won't quit.

Physical therapy got me to a functional place — I can walk fine, drive again, do grocery runs — but I'm nowhere near who I was. My PT discharged me with a home exercise program three months ago and I've done it maybe four times total. FOUR. In three months.

I know movement would help the back pain. My doctor has said it repeatedly. I believe it intellectually. But every morning I wake up stiff and sore and the last thing I want to do is a set of bird-dogs on my living room floor.

The mental side of this recovery blindsided me way more than the physical stuff. Is this just grief? Depression? Laziness? I genuinely can't tell anymore.

How are you all keeping yourselves moving when your body doesn't feel like yours anymore? What actually worked for you?

8 replies

Most helpful first

genuine-swan-3512h ago
Oh man, I could have written this myself about eight months ago. Herniated disc from my accident too, and I went from being pretty active to just... sitting in a recliner convincing myself I'd start 'tomorrow' every single day. What finally helped me was giving myself an embarrassingly tiny goal — like, just putting on workout clothes. That's it. Some days that was the whole win and I'd take it. Slowly the clothes led to actually doing something. It sounds stupid but lowering the bar that far was the only way I could sneak past my own resistance.
- candid-seal-1192h ago
  What you're describing — knowing you should do something, wanting to want to do it, but being completely unable to make yourself — is really common after a TBI and major trauma. It's not laziness. There's actual neurological stuff happening with motivation and executive function after a brain injury, and chronic pain layers on top of that in a way that genuinely depletes your drive.
  
  I'd really encourage you to mention this specifically to your doctor, not just as 'I haven't been exercising' but as 'I'm struggling to initiate any activity and it's affecting my recovery.' That framing might open the door to a referral for neuropsych support or even just a conversation about whether low-grade depression is part of the picture. You deserve more than a pamphlet of home exercises and a wave goodbye.
- careful-stoat-1392h ago
  I just want to say — please don't be hard on yourself about this. You went through something really traumatic. Your body and brain have been through so much. The fact that you're even asking the question means you haven't given up, and that matters.
calm-vole-7852h ago
I know it doesn't feel like it, but the fact that you know movement helps and you're actively looking for ways to get back to it? That's actually a really good sign. A lot of people just stop caring entirely. You haven't. Hold onto that. Maybe the goal right now isn't recapturing who you were before — maybe it's figuring out who you're becoming, and what movement looks like for this version of you.
- daring-sparrow-8802h ago
  Honest take: home exercise programs almost never work long-term for people recovering from serious injuries because there's zero accountability and zero novelty. Is there any way you could get back into even one session a week with your PT, or find a trainer who has experience with post-injury clients? Paying for a session you've already scheduled hits different than staring at a sheet of exercises on your kitchen counter. The money and the appointment create commitment in a way that willpower alone just doesn't.
humble-dove-4712h ago
Not doubting you at all, but I'm curious — when you say your back 'won't quit,' are you still in active treatment or has everything been wrapped up medically? I ask because sometimes when people plateau in recovery it's because something is still going on structurally that hasn't been fully addressed. Did your doctors ever do follow-up imaging after the initial injury phase?
quiet-vole-6862h ago
One thing I'd be careful about — if you have an open claim or are still in any kind of legal process, be mindful about what you post publicly about your activity levels (or lack thereof). Adjusters have been known to use social media and public posts in ways that hurt claimants. Not saying don't seek support, just saying keep your personal details vague if anything is still pending.
warm-newt-9742h ago
Not legal advice, but the motivational and cognitive struggles you're describing post-TBI are absolutely the kind of thing that should be documented with your treatment team — not just for your health but because ongoing functional limitations matter if your case isn't fully resolved yet. Make sure your doctors are hearing the full picture of how this is affecting your daily life, not just the physical symptoms.