accident at 18 turned my whole world upside down — just looking for people who get it

i felt every single word of this. i was 22 when i got hit and had just started a job i actually cared about. the identity loss is SO real and nobody talks about it enough. people expect you to be grateful you survived (and i am) but they don't understand that the person you were before the accident also kind of... didn't survive. sending you so much love. you're not alone in this.

the sleep issues and memory fog after a concussion can genuinely linger for years and it's not talked about enough in discharge paperwork. if you haven't already, please ask your doctor for a referral to a neurologist who specializes in post-concussion syndrome — it's a real thing with real treatment options. also the grief you're describing over your identity and your plans? that's legitimate trauma. a therapist who works with trauma specifically (not just general counseling) can make a huge difference. your brain and your heart both took a hit here.

i'm not going through anything like this but i just want to say — the way you wrote this is so honest and raw and i really hope you find your people here. the part about watching everyone else move forward through a foggy window hit me hard. that image says everything.

please please please be careful about what you say to the other driver's insurance company if they've been contacting you. they are not your friend. they will use anything you say — even something like 'i'm doing a little better' — to minimize your claim. if there's still a legal case open, run everything through whoever is handling it for you before you talk to adjusters.

jumping off what the person above said — i used to work on the claims side and i've seen it happen so many times. injured people just want it to be over so they accept an early offer that sounds big but doesn't account for years of future medical costs, lost earning potential, or the kind of ongoing stuff you're describing. with injuries like yours — two surgeries, a concussion with lasting symptoms, career impact — the long-term numbers matter a lot. make sure whoever is in your corner actually understands the full picture before anything gets settled.

a couple things that might help you understand the legal side a bit better: the fact that you don't fully remember the accident doesn't hurt your case — that's what police reports, witness statements, and accident reconstruction are for. also, if your dominant hand was injured and your intended career required it, that's called 'loss of earning capacity' and it's a real category of damages. i'm not giving legal advice, just saying these are things worth making sure get documented properly. keep records of everything — every appointment, every prescription, every day you couldn't work.

two things: 1) get the concussion stuff taken seriously medically, like actually push for the specialists, don't let a GP just tell you it'll resolve on its own. 2) if there's any chance the legal case settles soon, pump the brakes. you're still young and your medical picture may not be fully clear yet. settling too early with ongoing neuro symptoms is a mistake a lot of people regret.

when you say the legal thing is 'still in progress' — do you have an attorney or is it just an open insurance claim? those are really different situations and i'd want to understand which one before saying much more. also how long ago did the surgeries happen? i ask because the timeline matters a lot for where things stand.