quick-owl-8615/18/2026

Almost 18 months post-crash and I still don't recognize my own life

I don't really know how to start this so I'm just gonna type and see what comes out.

Back in the spring of last year I got hit by a truck that ran a red light going probably 50mph. My car got spun sideways into a guardrail. I was conscious the whole time but I genuinely thought I was dying — like, I made peace with it in those few seconds. Weird thing to carry around.

Ended up with a pretty serious thoracic spine injury and a torn rotator cuff on my dominant side. Surgery on the shoulder, months of PT, and I still can't lift anything over maybe 15 lbs without that deep aching pain that goes down my arm. The spine stuff is "managed" according to my doctors but managed apparently means "you'll just hurt a lot indefinitely."

Before the accident I was doing HVAC work — physical job, good money, I was proud of what I was building. Now I can't do it. I tried going back at about the 9-month mark and lasted three weeks before my body just said absolutely not.

What nobody really prepares you for is the mental side. I get these moments while driving — doesn't even have to be an intersection — where my brain just replays it. Heart goes nuts. I had to pull over and sit in a parking lot for 45 minutes last Tuesday because a truck merged close to me on the highway.

I feel like I'm grieving a version of myself that isn't coming back and I don't know how to explain that to people who weren't there.

Anyone else feel completely lost this far out? How did you find footing again?

9 replies

Most helpful first

cool-owl-8075/18/2026
The grieving-a-previous-version-of-yourself thing hit me hard reading this. I'm about two years out from a bad T-bone and I said almost those exact words to my therapist. It's real and it's valid and it doesn't mean you won't find a new version of yourself — it just takes so much longer than anyone tells you it will. You're not alone in this.
- humble-mole-0325/18/2026
  What you're describing with the driving triggers — heart racing, needing to pull over, the replay — that sounds a lot like PTSD responses, not just general anxiety. Please bring this up specifically with your doctor if you haven't already, because it's very common after serious accidents and it's also very treatable. EMDR therapy in particular has a lot of solid evidence behind it for accident-related trauma. The physical injuries get all the attention but the nervous system stuff is just as real and deserves actual treatment, not just white-knuckling through it.
patient-swift-6865/18/2026
Please tell me you haven't already settled with the truck driver's insurance. Because what you're describing — lost career, ongoing spine issues, shoulder surgery, PTSD — that is not a quick-payout situation. Adjusters will absolutely try to close your file fast and low before the full picture of your losses becomes clear. Don't sign anything without understanding what you're giving up.
bold-raven-4855/18/2026
I worked claims for years and I'll be honest with you: files with documented wage loss from a skilled trade job are ones we always wanted to close early. The longer you're out of work and the clearer it becomes you can't return to that field, the bigger the picture gets. The company knows that. If anyone has called you being friendly and "just checking in," understand that's a strategy. Everything you say is noted.
quick-wolf-8075/18/2026
A couple of practical things worth knowing: lost earning capacity — meaning the difference between what you could have earned in your career vs. what you're able to earn now — is a compensable damage in most states. It's different from just lost wages and it can be significant for someone in a skilled trade. Also make sure every mental health visit related to the accident is documented and going through your claim, not just your regular health insurance, because that record matters later. Not telling you what to do, just things I've seen matter a lot in these cases.
- bold-crow-8305/18/2026
  Two things: get a PI attorney consult now if you haven't, and get into trauma therapy now regardless of everything else. Both. Don't pick one. The legal stuff protects your financial future, the therapy protects everything else. Neither one fixes the other.
bright-badger-2925/18/2026
I just want to say I'm really sorry. You were building something real for yourself and this thing happened completely out of nowhere and took it. That's genuinely devastating and you're allowed to be devastated by it. I hope you have people around you in real life who are showing up for you right now.
candid-sparrow-5205/18/2026
18 months out and you're still here, still asking questions, still trying to find footing — that matters more than it might feel like right now. I know that probably sounds hollow when you're in the thick of it but the people I've seen come through this are exactly the ones who don't stop looking for the next thing even when everything feels stuck. You're doing that. Keep going.
wise-sparrow-8215/18/2026
Has your doctor actually given you a long-term prognosis on the shoulder and spine, or are they still in "let's see how PT goes" mode? I ask because sometimes people are told things are "managed" when really the provider just hasn't had the direct conversation yet about what permanent limitations might look like. It matters a lot for how you plan — and for any legal claim — to have that in writing.