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The Shoulder
plain-hare-745

Almost 8 months out and I honestly don't recognize my life anymore

I don't really know how to start this so I'm just going to say it.

The accident was bad. Really bad. I won't go into the specifics but my truck was not drivable and I needed help getting out. First responders were there. It was that kind of day.

That was almost eight months ago and I feel like I'm living someone else's life — and not in a good way. I'm in my late 20s and I genuinely feel like my body belongs to someone three times my age. The pain is constant. Some days it's a 4, some days it's an 8, but it's always there. I can't stand for long, I can't sleep right, I can't lift things I used to lift without thinking about it.

My doctor still hasn't cleared me to go back to work. Eight months. I had a job I actually liked. I had routines. I had a sense of independence that meant everything to me. That's all just... gone right now.

The part that really gets me is feeling like my injuries are somehow invisible to people. Like I walked away so I should be fine by now. I don't look broken, I guess. But I feel it every single hour.

I'll be honest — some days are really dark. I don't know how else to say that. I'm not okay, and I feel embarrassed admitting that because I keep thinking I should be over it by now.

I'm not looking for anyone to fix anything. I just really needed to say this out loud somewhere. Has anyone else felt this way this far out? Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

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