bold-vole-5895h ago

At-fault coworker hit my car and is now dictating how I get it fixed — is she serious?

Okay I need to vent because this situation has me genuinely baffled.

About two weeks ago a coworker backed into my car in our office parking garage. Broad daylight, witnesses, and she admitted it on the spot — no debate about fault at all. My car is only a few months old and I haven't even finished paying off the first few payments on it.

At first she seemed reasonable. Said she didn't want to go through insurance and would just pay out of pocket. Fine, I'm willing to work with her — we see each other every day and I don't want drama at work.

I got an estimate from a shop that specializes in my car's make. She looked at the quote and basically laughed, said it was "way too much" and sent me a link to some random shop across town. Their quote was less than half. I looked them up and the reviews seem okay, but they're not certified for my manufacturer and I have no idea what their paint matching is like.

When I said I'd only agree if she'd cover any issues with the repair — paint mismatch, panels that don't sit right, whatever — she said that's the shop's problem, not hers. So she wants to choose the shop but take zero accountability if the work is shoddy? How does that even make sense?

Then she dropped this gem: she told me to just file under my own collision or uninsured motorist coverage. She is insured. She's just trying to dodge her own policy.

And all of it is wrapped in this attitude of "the damage really isn't that bad, why are you making this difficult." I'm not making anything difficult — I just want my car restored properly.

Am I wrong here? Can she actually force me to use my own insurance when her policy should cover this?

9 replies

Most helpful first

quick-marmot-8605h ago
No, she cannot force you to do anything. You have every right to file a claim directly with her insurance company. You don't even need her permission or cooperation to do that — just call her insurer, give them the date, location, and her name, and open a third-party claim. Stop negotiating with her entirely. That ship has sailed.
- candid-grouse-6365h ago
  She's playing you. The "just use your own insurance" move is a classic way at-fault drivers try to protect their own premiums. If you file on your own policy, your rates could go up and you'd be paying a deductible — for something that is 100% her fault. Don't let her make her problem your financial burden.
- candid-heron-5275h ago
  Almost the exact same thing happened to me — neighbor hit my car, wanted to handle it privately, then suddenly had opinions about where I could get it fixed. The moment they started acting like they got a vote on my repair shop I just called their insurance directly. Whole thing was handled in under two weeks and I didn't have to argue with anyone anymore. Wish I'd done it on day one.
patient-kestrel-3205h ago
Worked in claims for years. What she's describing — directing you to use your own UM coverage when the at-fault driver is insured — doesn't even work that way. UM is for when the other driver has no insurance. Her suggestion tells me she either doesn't understand her own policy or she's hoping you don't understand yours.

Also, third-party claimants have the right to request repairs at a manufacturer-certified facility in most states. Her preference for the cheap shop is irrelevant once you go through her insurer.
hearty-wolf-8985h ago
A few things worth knowing: (1) you can file a claim with her insurance as the third party — you don't need to go through your own carrier at all. (2) You generally have the right to choose your own repair shop; the other driver's insurer may have "preferred" shops but they usually can't flat-out refuse a certified facility. (3) Document everything in writing if you can — even a text recap of conversations. If this ends up in small claims you'll want a paper trail.
cool-crow-3035h ago
Ugh, the coworker element makes this so much more uncomfortable. You're clearly trying to be considerate and she's taking advantage of that. At some point you have to stop protecting her from the consequences of backing into someone's car. That's on her, not you.
brave-raven-5555h ago
Not dismissing your frustration, but did you actually contact her insurance company yet or are you still going back and forth with her directly? Because a lot of this stress goes away the second you stop letting her be the middleman for her own claim.
quick-beaver-2105h ago
This is a little outside my lane but I'll say this — the stress of drawn-out disputes like this is real and it's not nothing. If there's a clean path (filing directly with her insurer) that removes you from having to negotiate with someone who clearly isn't acting in good faith, take it. Protecting your peace matters too.
plain-wren-4625h ago
Not legal advice, but just so you know: in most jurisdictions, the at-fault party's liability coverage exists precisely to make you whole — not to be deployed on her terms. Her insurer's job is to restore your vehicle to pre-loss condition. If a certified shop is what's required to do that properly, that's a reasonable position to take. Might be worth a free consult with a PI attorney if she continues stonewalling, just to understand your options.