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At-fault driver's insurer denied liability — does that unlock my UM/UIM or not?

I'm going insane trying to figure this out and hoping someone here has been through something similar.

Back in the spring I got rear-ended pretty hard at a red light. Clear-cut situation — I was fully stopped, other driver admitted at the scene he didn't see me brake. His insurer investigated and came back saying they're "declining liability." When I pushed the rep on the phone she basically confirmed they're not paying a dime toward my car or my medical bills. So... that's a denial of coverage, right?

Here's where it gets maddening. I filed with my own insurer to use my UM/UIM coverage (which I pay extra for every single month, specifically for situations like this). Their adjuster keeps telling me that a "liability denial" from the other carrier is NOT the same as a "coverage denial," so my UM/UIM supposedly can't kick in yet.

I asked for that in writing. Crickets.

My car sat in a shop for weeks, I've got outstanding PT bills, and I'm just... stuck in this no-man's-land where nobody wants to pay anything. I've read my policy like four times and I genuinely cannot find language that makes the distinction my adjuster keeps citing.

Has anyone gotten UM/UIM to apply after a liability denial? Did you have to escalate somehow? File a complaint? Get a lawyer involved?

Any direction would be huge right now. I feel like I'm being jerked around by both sides simultaneously.

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