wise-mole-7025/16/2026

Both on same insurer, at-fault driver ghosting them — am I just stuck??

I'm honestly losing my mind over this and could use some outside perspective from people who've been through something similar.

About six weeks ago another driver hit me in a parking garage — she cut across a one-way lane to grab a spot and clipped my front quarter panel pretty hard. We both got out, she apologized, we exchanged info. She even said "just go through insurance, no big deal." Cool, fine.

Here's the twist: we happen to have the same insurance company. I figured that might actually make things easier — one company, one claim, done. Nope. Apparently my insurer is saying they can't make a liability determination because they haven't been able to reach her. She's just… not picking up. Not responding to voicemails, not responding to their letters as far as I can tell.

I have:

Photos of the damage on my car
A photo of the scene right after impact
Her plate number and the info she gave me
A written estimate from a body shop

My adjuster keeps saying they're "still trying to reach her" but it's been weeks and nothing is moving. I'm driving around with a messed-up bumper and a cracked panel and I'm paying out of pocket for a rental I wasn't planning for.

Do I just… wait forever? Can I do anything to force movement on this? Would going through my own collision coverage help even if I have a deductible? Can I contact her directly somehow — like a certified letter demanding she respond?

I didn't cause this accident and I really don't want to eat any of this cost. Any advice from people who've navigated something like this would mean a lot right now.

9 replies

Most helpful first

quick-stoat-4275/16/2026
Ugh I went through almost the exact same thing last year. Same insurer on both sides, other driver went quiet. What finally got things moving for me was filing a complaint with my state's Department of Insurance online — took like 15 minutes. Once the insurer got that complaint notice they suddenly became a lot more motivated to resolve things. Might be worth trying before you go the legal route.
- genuine-beaver-3455/16/2026
  Former adjuster here. When both parties are on the same carrier, there's a real conflict-of-interest dynamic that doesn't always work in your favor — the company has a financial reason to drag its feet or push you toward your own collision coverage so your deductible absorbs some of the cost instead of them paying out on her liability policy. Don't let them pressure you into filing under your own coverage if the fault is clearly hers. Keep everything in writing — emails, not phone calls — so there's a record of every time you followed up and what they said.
calm-badger-9205/16/2026
"We can't reach her" is sometimes a stall tactic. They can determine liability from the physical evidence — your photos, the damage pattern, the accident report if there is one. Push back and ask them specifically what evidence they would need beyond the other driver's statement to make a decision. Make them answer that question in writing.
- sharp-stoat-4035/16/2026
  Not legal advice, but from a legal standpoint an insurer generally can't just sit on a clear-liability claim indefinitely because one of their insureds isn't cooperating. Most policies actually require the insured to cooperate with the company as a condition of coverage — so the other driver going silent is potentially her problem, not yours. Worth at least having a free consult with a PI attorney to understand your options. Most won't charge for a quick call.
- keen-swift-2485/16/2026
  Honestly? File under your own collision coverage right now to get your car fixed and stop the bleeding. Yes, you pay your deductible upfront, but your insurer then has a financial stake in going after her insurer for reimbursement — called subrogation. When they recover, you get your deductible back. It's not perfect but it ends the limbo and gets your car fixed while everything else plays out.
genuine-lynx-8395/16/2026
A few things worth knowing: (1) Most states require insurance companies to resolve claims within a specific timeframe — look up your state's "prompt payment" or "fair claims settlement" laws. If they're dragging past that window they may actually be in violation. (2) You can send a certified letter directly to the other driver notifying her that you're holding her personally liable for your damages and that her failure to cooperate with her own insurer could expose her further. It's not a lawsuit, just a paper trail. (3) If you have uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage, ask if it might apply — some policies treat an uncooperative at-fault driver differently.
plain-wren-1535/16/2026
This sounds so stressful, especially when you did everything right after the accident and you're still the one being inconvenienced. I hope you get this sorted soon — you shouldn't have to fight this hard when it clearly wasn't your fault.
- swift-heron-8625/16/2026
  Just want to ask — are you doing okay physically? Sometimes adrenaline masks soreness and stiffness that shows up days or even weeks after an impact. If anything has been bothering you — neck, shoulder, back — please see a doctor and get it documented now, not later. Even if it feels minor. It matters more than people realize.
curious-raven-3325/16/2026
Was there a police report filed? That changes things a lot. If there's an official report naming her as the at-fault driver, the insurer has a much harder time hiding behind "we couldn't reach her to determine fault." If there wasn't a report, that's probably part of why you're in this limbo — lesson learned for next time but curious what the situation is.