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The Shoulder
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Can't merge onto the highway anymore without a full panic attack — anyone else?

Not sure how to start this so I'll just dive in. About six weeks ago I was in a chain-reaction crash on the interstate. Four cars total. The SUV at the front braked hard out of nowhere, and it just cascaded backwards — car after car piling in. I was in the second-to-last vehicle and I literally watched it happen in slow motion before we hit.

Physically I got off pretty light compared to what it could've been — some whiplash, a mild concussion, and a gnarly bruise across my chest from the seatbelt. No ambulance, just a couple of patrol cars and a lot of shaky people standing on the shoulder exchanging information. My car got towed. The whole thing was over in like 90 minutes and then I was just... standing in a Uber going home like nothing happened?

But here's the thing nobody talks about: the mental part is wrecking me way more than the physical stuff. I've been driving for almost ten years without a second thought. Now I white-knuckle it every single time I get behind the wheel. On-ramps are the worst — my heart just goes nuts and I start running through every worst-case scenario. Last week I sat in a parking lot for 20 minutes before I could make myself pull out onto a main road. I actually called in late to work because of it.

I talked to my doctor and she mentioned something about acute stress response, possibly PTSD. I haven't done anything about it yet besides white-knuckling through my commute.

Has anyone else dealt with this after a crash? Did it get better? Did you do therapy, medication, something else? I feel kind of embarrassed that the 'minor' accident is the one messing with my head this badly.

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