genuine-heron-84819h ago

Coming up on one year since my crash — how did you all handle that anniversary?

I can't believe I'm even typing this but next month marks a full year since the semi clipped me on the highway and my whole life changed. Honestly I thought by now I'd be back to normal — hiking on weekends, chasing my dog around the yard, whatever. Instead I'm still doing PT twice a week, I've got nerve damage in my left arm that the specialists are calling 'unpredictable,' and I still white-knuckle it every single time I merge onto a highway.

The PTSD piece is the part nobody warned me about. I had to switch to a job I could do from home because the commute was triggering panic attacks. That's its own grief honestly.

Anyway — the anniversary. I keep going back and forth on how to approach it. Part of me wants to just treat it like a regular Tuesday and push through. Another part of me feels like ignoring it is just asking for it to hit me sideways in the middle of a Zoom call or something.

I actually drive past the stretch of highway where it happened pretty regularly — it's basically unavoidable where I live. Some days it's fine, other days I have to talk myself through it out loud like a weirdo.

For those of you who are past the one-year mark after a serious crash — did you do anything intentional on that day? Take it off? Work through it? Do something meaningful? Did it feel like a big deal or did it come and go quietly?

I'd really love to hear what actually helped versus what didn't. I feel like I'm navigating this without a map.

8 replies

Most helpful first

warm-marmot-08719h ago
My one-year hit me harder than I expected even though I thought I had mentally prepared. I took the day off work and honestly I'm glad I did — I would have been useless anyway. I spent the morning just journaling and let myself feel whatever came up without judging it. By afternoon I was okay enough to go have a nice lunch with my partner. Nothing ceremonial, just intentional. The fact that you're thinking about this ahead of time already puts you in a better spot than I was.
- bright-seal-85819h ago
  Don't overthink the highway thing. If driving past it has been manageable so far, fine. But deliberately sitting there to 'observe traffic' on the exact anniversary while you're already emotionally activated sounds like exposure therapy without a therapist present — and that can backfire. If you want to eventually do something like that, do it with support, not solo on the hardest day of the year.
calm-badger-32619h ago
The nervous system doesn't forget trauma on its own timeline — anniversaries are genuinely physiological, not just emotional. Your body can start ramping up stress hormones before you're even consciously aware the date is approaching. I'd really encourage you not to muscle through it alone that day. Whether that means asking a friend to be on call, scheduling a therapy session nearby the date, or just building in a lot of margin and gentleness — all of that matters. Also, the nerve damage recovery being 'unpredictable' is hard to sit with, but it doesn't mean no improvement. Some people see meaningful changes well past the one-year mark.
quick-badger-04019h ago
I just want to say — you've been carrying SO much for a year. The physical stuff AND the mental stuff AND the life changes. Please be kind to yourself on that day. You don't have to make it meaningful or productive. You're allowed to just exist through it.
cool-fox-12619h ago
One year means you survived something that could have taken everything from you. I know that probably sounds hollow when you're still in pain, but I mean it sincerely. Some people use the anniversary as a kind of 'still here' marker — not a celebration of the crash but of their own persistence through it. A small ritual, even just lighting a candle or doing something you genuinely enjoy, can reframe the day a little.
careful-heron-28019h ago
Genuine question — are you currently seeing anyone for the PTSD piece specifically? Not just PT for the physical stuff but an actual trauma-informed therapist? Because a lot of what you're describing, the highway anxiety, the white-knuckling, dreading the anniversary — those are very treatable with the right approach. Curious where you're at with that before the day comes.
swift-swan-03219h ago
My two cents: work did NOT help me on my anniversary. I thought staying busy would protect me and instead I had a meltdown in a bathroom at the office at like 2pm. Take the day if you can.
clever-heron-50919h ago
Slightly different angle here — if your case is still open or recently settled, anniversaries are also a good time to make sure you've documented how your life looks at the one-year mark compared to before. Journals, notes from doctors, how your daily function has changed. I know that's not what you were asking about emotionally, but that kind of ongoing documentation matters more than people realize and the anniversary is a natural checkpoint for it.