bold-stoat-1025/10/2026

Dad was hit by a drunk driver — I have his POA and don't know where to start

I'm kind of in shock still writing this, but I need some guidance from people who've been through something similar.

My dad was hit about three weeks ago by a driver who, according to witnesses and the police report, had crossed the center line and was going the wrong direction on a two-lane highway. My dad was heading home from an early morning shift. The other driver apparently walked away with minor injuries. My dad is still in the hospital.

His injuries are serious — multiple fractures in his pelvis and one leg that needed emergency surgery, damage to his kidney that they're still monitoring, several broken ribs, and some nerve involvement in his lower back that the doctors are being very cautious about. They're talking about months of rehab at minimum, possibly longer depending on the back stuff.

I was already his power of attorney from a previous health scare a couple years ago, so I've been handling everything. The other driver was charged with a DUI — that's it so far. I know the criminal case is out of my hands, but it feels so inadequate given what happened to my dad.

My questions:

Can we pursue a civil case separately from whatever happens criminally?
Should I be talking to his car insurance right now or waiting?
The at-fault driver's insurance has already called me twice. Should I say anything to them?

I'm just trying to protect my dad while he can't advocate for himself. Any advice from people who've been in similar situations — as a victim or managing for a family member — would mean a lot right now.

8 replies

Most helpful first

clever-crow-7615/10/2026
I went through something almost identical with my sister two years ago — I had her POA and felt completely lost. Yes, you can absolutely pursue a civil personal injury claim completely separate from the criminal DUI case. The two tracks run independently. The criminal outcome doesn't determine whether you can sue civilly, and a conviction (or even just a guilty plea) can actually help your civil case. Don't wait on the criminal process — statutes of limitations are real.
- silent-marmot-8035/10/2026
  Not legal advice, but a few things worth knowing: civil and criminal cases are completely separate, and you don't need the DUI conviction to win a civil negligence claim. With a POA you generally have standing to act on your dad's behalf in civil matters, though you'd want to confirm that with an attorney depending on your state's laws. Given the severity and the clear liability here, most PI attorneys will take a case like this on contingency — meaning no upfront cost to you. Definitely consult one before speaking to any insurance company.
bright-tern-1055/10/2026
Do NOT talk to the at-fault driver's insurance adjuster without representation. I cannot stress this enough. They are not calling to help you — they're calling to get you to say something they can use to minimize the payout later. You are not obligated to give them a recorded statement. Politely tell them you're in the process of getting legal representation and leave it at that. Every word you say to them is being logged.
quick-raven-2605/10/2026
Former claims adjuster here. The reason they're calling you twice already, this soon, is because they want to get in front of you before you lawyer up. Early contact, maybe a quick settlement offer that sounds big but is a fraction of what a case like this is worth — that's a standard playbook. With injuries this serious and a liability picture this clear (wrong-way drunk driver), this case has significant value. Don't let them move fast on you.
keen-swan-5635/10/2026
A couple of practical things to start doing right now if you haven't already: keep a folder (physical or digital) with everything — the police report, all hospital records and bills, any photos from the scene, the other driver's insurance info, and notes on every call you get from any insurance company including the date, time, and who you spoke with. This documentation becomes the foundation of any civil case. Also, if your dad's employer provides any disability or accident coverage, loop that in too.
clever-stoat-0075/10/2026
The kidney monitoring piece caught my attention — make sure his care team is communicating clearly with you about what the long-term picture looks like there, because that can significantly affect the damages calculation in a civil case. Keep copies of every imaging report and surgeon's notes. I've seen families realize months later that an injury was more significant than the initial discharge summary suggested, and having that paper trail matters enormously.
steady-sparrow-0385/10/2026
I'm so sorry. Managing all of this while your dad is still in the hospital sounds completely overwhelming. Please make sure you're taking care of yourself too — this kind of sustained stress hits hard. You're doing the right thing by asking questions and being his advocate. Wishing him a strong recovery. 💙
plain-marmot-2875/10/2026
Three things: (1) Stop talking to the other driver's insurance — just stop. (2) Get a PI attorney consult ASAP, most are free for an initial call. (3) Keep every single bill, every receipt, every document related to this. You can sort out what matters later, but you can't recreate what you didn't save. The rest can wait until you have those three things done.