clever-marten-9207h ago

Doctors keep saying I shouldn't be alive after my crash — anyone else deal with this?

This is going to sound dramatic but I genuinely don't know how to process what happened to me a few months ago, and I was hoping someone here might relate.

I was driving through an intersection on a green light when a sedan blew through the cross street at what police estimated was well over 60mph in a 35 zone. Broad daylight. The impact spun my car almost completely around and pushed it into a utility pole.

I ended up with a shattered collarbone, two cracked ribs, a fractured wrist, and a pretty serious concussion. I was in the hospital for almost two weeks.

Here's the thing — every single person involved in my care, from the paramedics who pulled me out to the trauma surgeon, made some version of the same comment. That the damage to my car versus the injuries I actually sustained didn't add up. One nurse said flat out, "You won the lottery today, not the fun kind, but still."

I've been in PT for weeks and physically I'm making progress. But mentally I'm stuck on this weird question of like... how close was it really? I keep looking up crash statistics and physics stuff at 2am which is probably not helping my sleep or my anxiety.

Has anyone else gone through something where the medical team basically told you the outcome defied expectations? How did you cope with that psychologically? Did it ever stop feeling so surreal?

Also — completely separately — the other driver's insurance has already been in contact and is being weirdly friendly and fast about things. Should that concern me? Still figuring out the legal side of all this.

9 replies

Most helpful first

bold-owl-8867h ago
Yeah, I heard almost the exact same thing after my crash last year. The ER doc pulled my family aside and told them how lucky I was, and somehow that made it harder to move on — like, I kept replaying it wondering what would have happened if I'd left the house 10 seconds earlier or later. It took a while but the obsessive replaying does calm down eventually. Hang in there.
- keen-marmot-8227h ago
  What you're describing emotionally — the late-night research spirals, the surreal feeling, replaying the moment — is incredibly common after high-impact trauma. It's sometimes called a trauma stress response and it doesn't always look like 'classic' PTSD, but it's real and it deserves attention. Please consider mentioning it to your doctor or asking for a referral to a therapist who works with trauma specifically. Physical PT is important but so is the mental recovery, and a lot of people skip it.
bright-crane-7317h ago
That 'weirdly friendly and fast' insurance contact is a massive red flag, not a green one. They are NOT being nice. They want to get a recorded statement from you and/or a quick lowball settlement signed before you know the full extent of your injuries. Soft tissue damage, concussion effects, even some bone complications don't always show their full picture for weeks or months. Do not agree to anything. Do not give a recorded statement.
mellow-marten-4327h ago
I used to work claims and I'll be honest — when we reached out fast and acted friendly, it was a strategy, full stop. The goal is to resolve the file before the claimant lawyers up or before the medical picture gets expensive. 'Friendly and fast' from the at-fault driver's carrier is almost never in your best interest. At minimum, talk to a PI attorney before you say anything else to them.
mellow-elk-9917h ago
A few things worth knowing: (1) You have no obligation to speak with the other driver's insurance company at this stage. (2) If they ask for a recorded statement, you can decline. (3) Any settlement offer before you've finished treatment — or reached what's called 'maximum medical improvement' — is almost certainly going to be insufficient, because nobody knows yet what your total medical costs and long-term impact will be. Most PI attorneys do free consultations and work on contingency, so there's no upfront cost to at least getting informed.
plain-otter-0187h ago
First of all I'm so glad you're still here and writing about this. Secondly please be gentle with yourself — you went through something terrifying and your brain is trying to make sense of it. The 2am research rabbit holes are your mind looking for control over something that felt completely out of control. That's so human. I hope you have people around you supporting you through this.
clear-beaver-4047h ago
I know it feels heavy right now, but the fact that you're here asking questions and doing PT and processing this? That's not nothing. Some people shut down completely after something like this. The surreal feeling fades — slowly, but it does. You're going to have a story to tell someday that genuinely helps someone else.
kind-bison-9247h ago
Two things: Stop Googling crash survival statistics at 2am, it will not help you and it will mess with your head. And call a personal injury attorney this week before you talk to that insurance company again. Those are the two most useful things you can do right now.
keen-hare-3827h ago
Not trying to be insensitive, but when you say the insurance company is being 'weirdly friendly and fast' — have they actually made an offer yet, or are they just being responsive? Because there's a difference between an adjuster who picks up the phone promptly and one who's already dangling a settlement. What exactly are they asking for from you at this point?