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The Shoulder
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Does anyone else feel guilty for being traumatized when you came out "fine"?

I don't really know how to start this so I'll just say it.

About six weeks ago I got T-boned by a driver who blew a red light. The impact spun my car completely around. I remember the sound more than anything — it was like an explosion right next to my head. But when everything stopped moving, I had a bruised sternum and some whiplash. That's it. My car was destroyed but I was technically okay.

And yet I can't sleep. I flinch at intersections. I had a full panic attack last week in a parking lot because someone's tires screeched nearby. I keep replaying the moment of impact and wondering how it wasn't worse.

Here's the thing I keep getting stuck on: I feel like I don't have the right to feel this wrecked. I see stories from people who had real injuries — surgeries, months of recovery — and I think, who am I to still be struggling? I only have bruises. I'm "fine." People say that to me constantly. "You're so lucky, you could have been seriously hurt." And I know they mean well but it kind of makes it worse somehow?

I also had to handle everything at the scene basically alone. The other driver was combative and the whole thing took hours. By the time I got home I was shaking so badly I couldn't open my front door.

I guess I'm asking — did anyone else feel like their trauma wasn't "valid" because they didn't have a dramatic physical injury? How did you deal with that? Because I'm starting to think I need to talk to someone but I also feel like maybe I'm making too big a deal out of nothing.

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