Fender bender — other driver wants to "get it checked" before I pay. How worried should I be?

I've been on both sides of this exact situation. Once I was the one who said 'let's skip insurance' and it actually worked out fine — damage was what it looked like and we settled it quietly. But another time I was in your shoes and the other person came back with an estimate that seemed way padded. My honest advice: get your own independent estimate before you agree to pay anything. Just walk into any body shop and ask — most will look at photos or even do a quick visual for free.

Be really careful with the 'let's keep insurance out of it' thing. It sounds great in the moment but it leaves you with zero protection. If she comes back with a number that feels off, or suddenly claims her neck hurts two weeks from now, you have no paper trail and no insurer in your corner. I'd at least call your own insurance and ask whether reporting an incident (not filing a claim) would affect your rates. Some policies let you report without it counting against you.

Former adjuster here. That scuff-and-tiny-dent combo you're describing? At a dealership body shop it can legitimately run more than you'd expect — blend painting on adjacent panels alone adds up fast. But at an independent shop it could be significantly less. The issue is you have no control over where she takes it. If I were you I'd ask her which shop she's going to and look up reviews. Some shops have a reputation for writing big estimates when they know it's an out-of-pocket situation.

Go back to that parking garage today if you can and take better photos — wide shots showing both cars' positions, close-ups of the damage, and the surrounding area. Timestamps matter. You want documentation that shows the damage as it existed right after the incident, not whatever state it's in after she drives around for a week.

Just flagging — sometimes people feel fine at the scene and then notice soreness the next day, especially from the jolt of even a minor impact. I'm not saying she's going to do this, but it's worth knowing that soft tissue stuff doesn't always show up immediately. That's another reason having things documented and going through proper channels protects everyone, including her.

The fact that she was calm and reasonable at the scene is actually a really good sign. A lot of people go full drama mode even in minor situations. Sounds like she genuinely just wants to be fair and make sure her car is taken care of. Stay communicative, respond quickly to her messages, and you'll probably get through this without it becoming a whole thing.