plain-wolf-0571d ago

First accident at 17 and I can't stop shaking — does this feeling ever go away?

I've had my license for maybe four months. Last week I misjudged a gap pulling out of a parking lot and clipped a pickup truck. Nobody got hurt, the damage wasn't catastrophic, and the other driver was actually pretty calm about it — but I am not okay.

The responding officer basically put it on me, which I'm not even disputing. I made the mistake. But ever since then I've been waking up at 3am hearing the crunch of metal. I'll be eating dinner and suddenly I'm back in that parking lot, stomach dropping, watching it happen in slow motion.

I drove once since it happened and I white-knuckled the whole five minutes, convinced I was going to mess up again. My mom says I just need to "get back on the horse" but it's not that simple when the horse threw you in front of everyone.

I guess my questions are:

Is this anxiety response normal after an accident, even a minor one?
How long did it take you to feel like yourself behind the wheel again?
Is there anything practical that actually helped — not just "time heals everything"?

I know in the grand scheme of things this could've been so much worse. Nobody went to the hospital. But I still feel genuinely traumatized and I'm embarrassed to admit that out loud when the crash was "small." Just looking for people who've been there.

7 replies

Most helpful first

genuine-fox-8371d ago
Oh man, I felt this post in my chest. I had a minor fender-bender at 18 and cried in a parking lot for 20 minutes before I could even call my dad. The replaying-it-on-loop thing lasted weeks for me. What actually helped wasn't forcing myself to drive more — it was letting myself sit with it for a few days first, then easing back in with short, low-stakes trips. Grocery store parking lot at 7am when nobody's around. You're not weak for being shaken up. Your brain just went through something scary.
patient-elk-3091d ago
What you're describing — the intrusive replaying, the sleep disruption, the physical anxiety response — is genuinely a trauma response. It doesn't matter that the crash was "small." Your nervous system doesn't grade accidents on a scale. This is real and it's worth taking seriously.

If it's still happening a few weeks from now and interfering with daily life, please consider talking to someone. A few sessions with a therapist who does EMDR or CBT can make a huge difference for exactly this kind of thing. You're not being dramatic.
- careful-elk-9071d ago
  Practical stuff that helped me after my first at-fault accident: 1) Write down exactly what you did wrong and what you'll do differently — gets it out of your head and onto paper. 2) Drive somewhere boring and familiar before you drive anywhere that feels like the scene of the crime. 3) Talk to a real person about it instead of just running it on loop internally. The shame is louder when it stays secret.
quiet-hare-4501d ago
Here's the thing — the fact that you feel this bad about it actually says something good about you. You're not the person who drives away without caring. You care deeply, maybe too much right now, but that conscience is going to make you a more careful driver long-term. This won't be your identity forever. It's just chapter one.
- genuine-fox-7731d ago
  Please don't be embarrassed that a "small" crash shook you this hard. I'm not even someone who's been in an accident and reading your post made MY heart race a little. You were scared. That's human. Be gentle with yourself, seriously.
keen-elk-4051d ago
Not trying to minimize how you feel, but I do want to ask — did you exchange insurance info properly and has a claim actually been filed yet? Sometimes people focus on the emotional side and then get blindsided weeks later by a property damage claim or something they didn't expect. Just making sure the practical stuff is handled before it becomes another source of anxiety.
clear-raven-4351d ago
Echoing the person above — make sure you're not just emotionally processing but also practically protected. Even in a clear-cut at-fault minor accident, be careful about what you say to insurance adjusters beyond the basic facts. They can use casual apologetic language against you in ways you wouldn't expect. Let your parents' insurance handle the communication if you can.