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First accident ever and I can't stop shaking — is the guilt normal or am I spiraling?

I've been driving for maybe seven months. Taught myself mostly from YouTube videos and a cousin who, looking back, had some pretty sketchy habits he passed along. I've been actively trying to unlearn stuff — like how I was gripping the wheel way too tight and sitting weird. Anyway.

Two days ago I was on a four-lane road changing into the right lane to exit. Checked my mirror, looked clear, started moving over — and out of nowhere someone coming up fast clipped my rear quarter panel. The impact spun me sideways and I tapped the car in front of me at the light. Total chaos in like four seconds.

Physically everyone was fine. Shaken up, but fine. The other drivers were actually really decent about it — one lady even gave me a water bottle because I was visibly losing it on the side of the road.

But since then I cannot function. I keep replaying it on loop. I cried through dinner last night, barely slept, and today I just sat in my car in the driveway for twenty minutes without starting it. I'm supposed to be driving to visit my brother next weekend and the thought of getting on the highway makes me want to throw up.

I know logically I'm not a bad person and accidents happen. But emotionally I feel like I failed somehow? Like I should've seen it coming or waited longer or something.

Has anyone else gone through this emotional spiral after a first accident? How long did it take before you felt normal behind the wheel again? And is there anything actually useful to do right now beyond just waiting it out?

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