Five years of surviving crashes, grief, and medical bills — I'm running on empty

The domino thing is so real and I don't think people talk about it enough. My accident was three years ago and I kept thinking 'okay, this is the last hard part' and then something else would hit. Medical debt, then a job change I didn't choose, then a family thing. You're not losing your mind — you're just carrying a stack of stuff that keeps getting taller. It does eventually get lighter. Not all at once, but it does.

The exhaustion you're describing — where sleep doesn't touch it — that's not laziness or weakness, that's what chronic pain plus prolonged grief does to your nervous system. Your body has been in low-grade crisis mode for years. Please don't discount that as 'just stress.' If you haven't talked to anyone (therapist, even a PCP who'll actually listen), that's worth prioritizing alongside the financial stuff. The two are connected more than people realize.

Just to add some context to what the person above said — when you settled, you almost certainly signed a release, and in most states that's final. But there are edge cases: if new injuries were discovered later that genuinely weren't known at the time, or if there were multiple liable parties and only one was settled with. It's a long shot, but a free consult with a PI attorney costs you nothing and at least gives you clarity. Knowing the answer (even if it's 'no') can actually be a relief.

I know this probably isn't what you need to hear right now, but the fact that you're self-aware enough to recognize what's happening — the overextending, the helping everyone else, the savings drain — means you're not actually as lost as you feel. That's not nothing. A lot of people in your situation just go completely numb. You're still paying attention to yourself even when it hurts.

Stop lending money and covering for coworkers. Seriously. I know it feels like generosity but it sounds more like you're trying to feel needed because everything else feels out of control. Protect your money right now like it's the last of it, because it might be. The kindness can come back later when you're stable.

I just want to say I'm really glad you posted this instead of keeping it bottled up. Five years of that would break most people. You're still here and still asking questions which honestly takes more strength than it sounds like you're giving yourself credit for. Please keep talking.

Not trying to be harsh, genuinely curious — when you say the settlement 'evaporated into medical bills,' do you mean bills directly from the accident injuries, or unrelated stuff too? And was there a health insurance lien involved when you settled? Asking because sometimes people don't realize how much of their settlement was quietly taken back by insurers before they even saw it, and understanding where it actually went can at least help you make sense of the number.