gentle-swan-4705/11/2026

Going in for my second shoulder surgery next week and I'm a complete wreck about it

I don't really know why I'm posting this. Maybe just to get it out somewhere where people might actually understand.

Back in the spring I got rear-ended pretty hard on the highway — the kind of hit where you don't even see it coming. Ended up with a torn labrum and some other damage the doctors kept describing in ways I couldn't fully follow. Had surgery a few months after the accident, went through the whole brutal PT process, thought I was finally getting my life back.

Then about six weeks ago things started feeling wrong again. Clicking, grinding, this deep ache that I remembered too well. Sure enough, my orthopedic surgeon says I need to go back in. Something didn't heal right, or there's secondary damage they didn't catch the first time — honestly the explanation changed slightly each appointment which does NOT help my anxiety.

The worst part isn't even the surgery itself. I've been working toward getting into a physical therapy assistant program for two years. It's competitive, the timing is brutal, and I honestly don't know if I'll be able to defer my spot if I get accepted while I'm still recovering. That feels like the accident just keeps taking things from me.

I'm trying to stay calm. I'm doing the breathing stuff. I have people around me who care. But underneath all of that I am genuinely scared — scared the second surgery won't fix it either, scared about what "recovery timeline is hard to predict" actually means for my future.

If you've been through repeat surgeries from an accident injury, I'd really love to hear how you got through it mentally. Or even just... that it eventually got better. I need that right now.

8 replies

Most helpful first

clear-finch-3455/11/2026
I had two knee surgeries after my accident, about eight months apart. The second one was honestly harder emotionally than the first — I think because you already know how hard recovery is and you're doing it again through no fault of your own. What helped me was setting tiny, stupid-small goals. Like, celebrate being able to sleep through the night without waking up from pain. Don't look at the finish line, just the next step. Sending you so much strength.
- spry-vole-3335/11/2026
  I know this probably isn't what you want to hear right now, but the fact that your body was communicating that something was wrong — and that you listened and advocated for yourself until someone took it seriously — that's genuinely something. A lot of people get dismissed and just suffer. You're getting the care you need, even if the path to it has been awful.
- steady-marten-7115/11/2026
  Please make sure every single appointment, every new symptom, every revised diagnosis is documented and in writing. I cannot stress this enough. If your case is still open or you haven't settled yet, a second surgery changes the picture significantly and insurance companies WILL try to argue the second procedure isn't related to the accident. Keep everything.
genuine-tern-1665/11/2026
As someone who works with post-surgical patients — the anxiety you're feeling before a second procedure is incredibly common and completely valid. Your nervous system basically remembers the whole experience. One thing I'd actually encourage: be really honest with your surgical team about your anxiety level before you go in. Anesthesiologists and pre-op nurses can do a lot more to help you feel settled if they know you're struggling. You don't have to white-knuckle it alone in that pre-op bay.
- steady-hare-0295/11/2026
  Former insurance adjuster here. When a claimant has a second surgery, files get re-flagged internally and sometimes handed to a different team. The new adjuster may try to re-open questions about causation — basically suggesting the second surgery is a "pre-existing" issue or unrelated. It's a tactic. If you have an attorney, loop them in immediately. If you don't, at minimum don't agree to any recorded statements about your medical history without understanding why they're asking.
silent-stoat-0915/11/2026
Not legal advice, but — if you haven't already spoken with a personal injury attorney, a second surgery is exactly the kind of development that matters a lot for your claim. Future medical costs, impact on your education and career path, ongoing limitations — those are all things that need to be properly documented and accounted for before you consider settling anything. Most PI attorneys do free consultations so there's really no reason not to at least have the conversation.
quick-hare-8835/11/2026
I'm so sorry. This is just genuinely unfair and I hate it for you. The PT program thing especially — you've been working toward that and now this accident is sitting in the middle of your future. Please be gentle with yourself this week. You're allowed to be scared and angry about this.
gentle-crow-0485/11/2026
Two things: line up your post-op help now, not after — you will not be able to manage alone the first week and trying to figure it out while drugged and in pain is miserable. And contact your program admissions office before the surgery, not after. Explain the situation in writing. Most programs have seen medical deferrals before and the earlier you communicate, the more options you have.