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The Shoulder
The Shoulder
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Got rear-ended at a stoplight last night — back hurts and I don't know what to do first

Still kind of in shock writing this. I'm 22, just moved out on my own for the first time, and last night I was sitting at a red light on my way home from work when I got slammed from behind. Came out of nowhere. My coworker was riding with me — she's okay but rattled too.

The damage to my car looks mostly cosmetic — cracked rear bumper, one tail light busted — but the car runs fine. I got the other driver's info, snapped photos of everything, and a bystander actually stopped and gave me their number as a witness, which I feel lucky about. The other driver was apologetic and admitted it on the scene, but I've heard that means nothing later.

Police came out but told me since nobody was being taken away by ambulance they weren't going to file a formal report. Is that normal??

Here's what's bothering me physically: my neck and upper back started aching a few hours after I got home. It's not unbearable, maybe a 3 out of 10, but it's there. The thing is I had a minor shoulder injury from a sports thing about a year ago on the same side, and it genuinely feels aggravated right now. I'm nervous that because I have a "prior" the insurance company will just blame everything on that and deny me.

Also — and this feels embarrassing to admit — I've been anxious since it happened. Like, I drove to the grocery store this morning and completely tensed up every time I had to stop. Is that a real thing that gets factored in, or am I overthinking it?

I don't know whether to call my insurance first, go straight to the other driver's insurance, or see a doctor before I do anything. Any advice from people who've been through this?

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9replies

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9 replies

  • 2
    tidy-grouse-174

    I went through almost the exact same thing two years ago — rear-ended, felt fine at the scene, woke up the next morning barely able to turn my head. Please go get checked out TODAY, not tomorrow. I waited almost four days thinking it would go away on its own and I was told later that gap made things complicated with the claim. Even if you feel mostly okay, get it documented by a doctor ASAP.

    • 6
      daring-kestrel-169

      Three things, in order: 1) Doctor today. 2) Don't post about this on social media. 3) Write down everything you remember about the accident — time, weather, what you saw in your mirror before impact, what the other driver said — while it's still fresh. Do it in a notes app, email it to yourself, whatever. You'll thank yourself later.

  • 16
    clever-heron-278

    Whatever you do, be very careful what you say when you call the other driver's insurance. They may contact you quickly and seem super friendly — that's intentional. They're trained to get you to downplay your injuries or accept a fast settlement before you even know how hurt you are. Don't give a recorded statement without thinking it through first, and definitely don't accept anything until you've finished all your treatment.

    • 5
      kind-swan-536

      Former insurance adjuster here. The prior injury thing you're worried about is real but it's not automatically a dealbreaker — it's called "eggshell plaintiff" doctrine in a lot of states, meaning the other driver takes you as they find you. What actually matters is having a clear medical record that shows the crash aggravated a pre-existing condition. That's why seeing a doctor NOW and being completely honest with them about your history is so important. Don't hide the old shoulder thing — disclose it and let the doctor note what's changed.

  • 11
    humble-marten-040

    The delayed onset pain you're describing — feeling okay at the scene but sore hours later — is super common with soft tissue injuries. Adrenaline masks a lot right after impact. Please don't let the 3/10 pain level convince you it's nothing. Soft tissue injuries can linger for weeks or months if not properly evaluated and treated. Go to urgent care or your primary care doctor, describe exactly what happened, and let them order whatever imaging they think is appropriate.

  • 15
    careful-newt-525

    Not legal advice, but a few quick things worth knowing: anxiety and emotional distress after an accident are legitimate components of a personal injury claim in most states — you're not overthinking it. Second, the fact that police didn't file a report doesn't kill your claim, but you should look into whether your state lets you self-report the accident online, which creates a paper trail. Third, the pre-existing injury issue is very manageable with the right documentation. Worth at least a free consult with a PI attorney before you talk to the other driver's insurer.

  • 14
    calm-newt-211

    On the "do I call my insurance or theirs first" question — you can do both, but in what order matters a little. Notifying your own insurance is usually required by your policy regardless of fault, so do that. When it comes to the at-fault driver's insurer, you don't have to give them anything more than basic facts at first. You have time. Just don't ignore their calls entirely or it can complicate things. Keep a log of every call — who called, what time, what was said.

  • 6
    sharp-seal-177

    Please don't minimize the anxiety stuff. I had a friend who got rear-ended and brushed off the mental side of it, and she struggled for months with driving. It's real and it matters. Take care of yourself first, everything else can wait a day or two.

    • 6
      candid-grouse-505

      Quick question — did you actually get the other driver's insurance card photographed, or just their word on what company they're with? And did any other drivers at the light see what happened beyond the one witness who stopped? Just want to make sure your evidence is as solid as you think it is before you start the process.