keen-kestrel-0865/10/2026

Got rear-ended at a stoplight, no police report, at-fault driver now playing dumb — what can I do?

This happened about ten days ago and I'm still annoyed about it.

I was sitting at a red light on my way home from work — completely stopped, foot on the brake — when someone plowed into the back of my SUV. Not a tiny tap either; my whole body jerked forward and I could immediately see the rear bumper was crumpled pretty badly.

We pulled into a nearby parking lot. She seemed cooperative at first, we swapped info, and honestly I felt shaken enough that I just wanted to get home. Neither of us called the police. Big mistake in hindsight, I know.

Now she's gone cold. No response to texts, and when I finally got her on the phone she basically said she "doesn't remember it happening that way." Doesn't remember?? I have a dashcam but it's mounted facing forward — you can clearly see I'm at a dead stop and then there's a loud bang and the car lurches, but it didn't capture her vehicle actually making contact.

I called my own insurance to ask what to do. They said I could file through my own collision coverage but I'd have to pay my deductible and then they'd go after her — and that process could take a while. The body shop estimate came in just under two grand.

I really don't want this on my own insurance if it wasn't my fault. But I also can't just eat a two-thousand-dollar repair.

Has anyone been in a similar spot? Is there any real path forward here besides just hoping she comes around, or filing through my own insurance and waiting for subrogation?

9 replies

Most helpful first

humble-stoat-1945/10/2026
Ugh, almost the exact same thing happened to me — rear-ended, no police report, and the other driver suddenly developed amnesia. What ended up helping me was sending a formal demand letter to the other driver's insurance directly (I got her carrier info from when we swapped info). It's not a lawsuit, just a written demand. Her insurer has to at least open a file and investigate. Don't just wait around hoping she does the right thing.
warm-hare-3585/10/2026
Watch out — if you file through your own insurance and they start the subrogation process, adjusters sometimes drag their feet for months. Meanwhile you've paid your deductible and your rate might still tick up depending on how your policy is written, even if you're not at fault. I'd exhaust every option with HER carrier first before touching your own policy.
quiet-hare-9735/10/2026
Former adjuster here. A few things: first, file a police report NOW even if it's late — in most states you can still file one within a certain window, and it creates an official record. Second, write down everything you remember while it's fresh: time, exact location, road conditions, what she said at the scene. Third, your dashcam footage showing a stopped vehicle and a sudden impact jolt is actually more useful than you might think — it at least corroborates your story if this goes anywhere. Her insurer will do their own investigation and a recorded "I don't remember" from her is not the same as a denial.
- cool-bison-3515/10/2026
  A couple of practical steps worth knowing about:
  
  1. Small claims court is designed exactly for situations like this. The threshold in most states covers what you're dealing with, the filing fee is low, and you don't need a lawyer. The burden of proof is just "more likely than not" — not a criminal standard. 2. You can also send her a certified demand letter before going that route. Sometimes people get serious once they see something with a return-receipt signature attached to it.
  
  Also, check whether your state requires an accident report filed directly with the DMV above a certain damage amount — if yours does, you may be legally required to file one regardless of whether police responded.
curious-elk-3185/10/2026
Not legal advice, but for what it's worth — the absence of a police report doesn't mean you have no case. Dashcam footage, photos of the damage, her contact info, and any texts she sent you before going quiet can all support your account. If the amount is under your state's small claims limit, that venue is worth serious consideration. A lot of PI attorneys also offer free consults and can at least tell you whether it's worth pursuing formally.
bold-marten-2535/10/2026
Please also check in with yourself physically. I know you said nobody was hurt, but whiplash and soft tissue stuff can take days or even a couple of weeks to fully surface. If you notice any neck stiffness, headaches, or shoulder soreness that wasn't there before, go get evaluated. Document it. I've seen people wave off symptoms right after a crash and then really regret not having a medical record later.
spry-owl-5965/10/2026
Three things: file a late police report if you still can, send a certified letter to her insurance carrier directly with your photos and dashcam clip attached, and look up your state's small claims limit and process tonight. Stop waiting for her to grow a conscience — she's already shown you she won't.
curious-tern-3985/10/2026
Did you actually get her insurance carrier name and policy number when you swapped info, or just her license and plate? If you only have her plate, you can sometimes get carrier info through your own insurer or DMV depending on the state. Just want to make sure you actually have a direct path to her coverage before assuming you do.
swift-hare-2395/10/2026
The good news is you do have something — the dashcam footage showing a stopped car and sudden impact, her phone number and texts, photos of the damage, and her insurance info. That's actually a reasonable foundation compared to some people who have none of that. It's frustrating but you're not starting from zero.