Had my first accident last week and I can't stop replaying it in my head — is this normal?

The mental replay is SO real. I had my first accident about two years ago — rear-ended someone on the highway — and I swear for two weeks straight I would just randomly re-live the moment of impact. Felt like my brain refused to file it away. It does get better, but give yourself actual permission to feel awful right now. You're not going crazy, your nervous system just had a traumatic event and it's processing. Be patient with yourself.

What you're describing — the intrusive replaying, disrupted sleep, the guilt spiral — those are really textbook acute stress responses after a traumatic event. Completely normal neurologically. That said, if it's still happening intensely after a few weeks, please don't brush it off. Short-term therapy (even just a session or two) can make a huge difference. Also, that neck stiffness and shoulder bruising? Get it properly checked out even if it seems minor. Soft tissue injuries have a sneaky way of getting worse before they get better.

I just want to say — you're being really hard on yourself. You're okay, no one else got hurt, and you clearly already learned from it. That guilt you're carrying sounds exhausting. Please talk to someone you trust, even just to say it all out loud.

On the total loss question — when an older, high-mileage car gets into a significant accident, adjusters will pull the Actual Cash Value (ACV), which is basically what your car was worth on the market the day before the crash, not what it would cost to replace it with something newer. If repair costs come close to or exceed that number, they'll total it. The payout can feel low and sometimes is low. You're allowed to push back on their valuation — look up comparable vehicles in your area and present that if the number seems off. Don't just accept the first offer.

Just a heads up — if they do total it, don't let them rush you into signing off on a settlement before you've actually figured out what a comparable replacement would cost you. Adjusters have quotas and timelines. Your timeline matters more than theirs.

Since you mentioned neck stiffness and a shoulder bruise, make sure you're documenting everything medically even if it feels minor right now. Keep all your records, any bills, and write down a personal account of how you've been feeling physically and emotionally since the accident while it's fresh. If symptoms linger or worsen, that documentation becomes really important. Also get a copy of the accident report if you haven't already.

Two things: 1) See a doctor for that neck and shoulder this week, not next week. 2) Start researching replacement car options now so you're not scrambling if they do total it. Don't wait for the insurance process to push you into a rushed decision on a new vehicle. Get ahead of it while you have a little time.

When you say neck stiffness — did you get checked out at the ER or urgent care right after, or are you just waiting it out? Asking because if you didn't get evaluated immediately it can complicate things later if it turns out to be more than just soreness. Not judging, just want to know if you have any medical documentation started.