Hit from behind by an unlisted driver — insurer can't reach the car's owner and I'm stuck

Ugh, I went through almost exactly this — different situation but same runaround where the insurer needed the policyholder to cooperate and he just... didn't call them back for weeks. What finally moved things along for me was filing through my own collision coverage and letting my insurer go after theirs through subrogation. I got my deductible back eventually. It took a few months but at least my car got fixed while the back-and-forth was still happening.

The insurance company is NOT on your side here. That adjuster being 'nice on the phone' is part of the job. The longer this drags out, the more they're hoping you just go away or make a mistake. Document every single call — date, time, name of who you spoke to, what was said. That paper trail matters more than you think if this ever escalates.

I used to work claims and I can tell you that the 'we can't reach the named insured' thing is genuinely a real process issue — they do legally need that permissive use confirmation before they accept liability on behalf of the policy. BUT, and this is important, there are internal escalation paths. If you call back and specifically ask to speak to a supervisor or a liability specialist and say you need a timeline for resolution, that sometimes lights a fire. Adjusters have caseloads and the squeaky wheel does get greased.

A couple of things worth knowing: in most states, there's a legal concept called 'permissive use' and some policies have what's called 'omnibus coverage' that can extend to drivers who weren't explicitly listed. Whether that applies depends on the specific policy language and your state's laws. Also, if the car owner is avoiding his own insurer, the insurer could eventually deny coverage — at which point your options shift. It might be worth at least a free consult with a PI attorney just to understand your rights before that happens.

Not legal advice, but I'll say this: talking to an attorney at this stage isn't 'premature' at all — it's actually smart timing. A lot of people wait until things have gone sideways. A free consult costs you nothing and gives you a clearer picture of your options, including what happens if the liability insurer ultimately denies the claim. The neck stiffness you mentioned is also worth taking seriously from a legal standpoint — soft tissue injuries can evolve and you want that documented now, not later.

Please don't brush off the neck pain. I know it's easy to focus on the car and the insurance headache, but stiffness after a rear-end collision can be more than just muscle soreness. Go get evaluated — even urgent care can document it. If symptoms linger or get worse over the next week or two, you'll want that initial visit on record. Whiplash-type injuries sometimes don't fully show up until a few days after the impact.

File through your own collision coverage now. Stop waiting. Yes, there's a deductible, but your insurer can subrogate against theirs and you should get it back if liability is established. Sitting on this while your car is undriveable and your neck is hurt is costing you more than the deductible will.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this — it's genuinely unfair that you're the one scrambling when you didn't do anything wrong. I hope the car owner shows up soon and makes this easier, but please take care of yourself physically too. Don't let the insurance stress be the only thing you're focused on.

Quick question — did you get the police to come out eventually, or is there truly no report at all? That might matter more than you realize for the insurance claim. And when you say the driver 'admitted fault' at the scene, was that in writing or just verbal? Those details could change how this plays out.