How do you even know when it's worth talking to a lawyer after an accident?

Oh man, I was in almost this exact situation last year. The other side's adjuster was SO friendly and kept checking in on me, and it took me a while to realize that friendliness had a purpose — they wanted me to feel comfortable signing something fast. I ended up talking to a PI attorney just to understand my options and it cost me nothing (free consult). Even if you don't hire anyone, the information alone is worth it. You're not being dramatic, you're being smart.

I used to work on the claims side and I'll be straight with you — when liability is accepted fast and the adjuster is calling a lot, they're usually trying to settle before your medical picture is complete. Once you sign a release, that's it. Doesn't matter if you need surgery six months later. The company knows soft tissue injuries can drag on and they want this closed cheap. You have every right to tell them you're still treating and not ready to discuss settlement.

Not legal advice, but to answer your specific question — yes, you are generally allowed to wait until you've reached what's called "maximum medical improvement" before settling, meaning you and your doctors have a clearer picture of where your recovery is headed. Settling before that point can leave you holding the bag on future treatment costs. A free consult with a PI attorney doesn't obligate you to anything, and most won't charge unless they recover something for you.

Soft tissue injuries in the neck and shoulder are notoriously slow healers and it's really hard to know at three weeks what your full recovery looks like. Some people feel mostly fine at 6 weeks. Others are still in PT at 9 months. Don't let anyone — including an adjuster — pressure you into deciding your case is "done" when your body clearly isn't done recovering yet. Follow your doctor's recommendations and document everything.

You don't sound dumb at all — this stuff is genuinely confusing and nobody expects to need to know it until they're suddenly in the middle of it. I think just talking to someone who knows this area well would give you a lot of peace of mind, even if you decide you don't need any help in the end.

Stop talking to the adjuster until you know what you're dealing with medically. Full stop. You have zero obligation to give them updates. Tell them you're still treating and you'll be in touch when you're ready. Then go get a free consult — most PI attorneys do them and it's a no-pressure way to get your questions answered by someone who knows the process.