My husband was driving when we got hit — he's drowning in guilt and I don't know how to help him

I was the driver when my wife got hurt in an accident that wasn't my fault either, and honestly what you're describing with your husband sounds exactly like what I went through. It took me a really long time to accept that 'not at fault' and 'not responsible for the outcome' felt like two totally different things emotionally. Therapy genuinely helped me — not couples therapy, just me processing my own stuff so I could actually be present for her recovery instead of making it about my guilt.

Three broken ribs plus a fractured wrist is serious — please make sure you're not pushing yourself too hard physically because you feel guilty about him feeling guilty. It's this weird loop I see with couples after trauma. Your healing has to come first. And watch your breathing with those ribs — people sometimes unconsciously take shallow breaths to avoid rib pain and end up with secondary complications. Follow up with your doctor religiously on that.

Do NOT call that other driver's insurance back without talking to someone first. I cannot stress this enough. They are not calling to help you. They want a recorded statement while you're still medicated, emotional, and don't fully know the extent of your injuries. That recording can be used to lowball or deny your claim later. Your own insurance's recorded statement request is also worth being careful about — you usually have an obligation to cooperate with your own carrier but you can ask for time.

Former adjuster here. Those two calls from the other driver's insurance? That's a standard early-contact strategy. The faster they can get you on record before you lawyer up or before your full diagnosis is clear, the better for them. If liability is as obvious as you say — camera footage, red light violation — they know they're on the hook and they want to control the damages side of the equation. Don't give them anything to work with.

A few practical things: First, get a copy of the police report if you haven't already — it should reference the camera footage as evidence. Second, start a pain and symptom journal today if you haven't. Just a simple daily note about what hurts, what you can't do, how you slept. It sounds tedious but it matters a lot later. Third, with the camera footage and a clear red-light violation, you're in a solid position liability-wise, but you still want someone in your corner before you talk to anyone. Not legal advice, just process stuff.

I just want to say — the part about him sitting in the chair at 2am watching over you made me tear up a little. He loves you so much it's breaking him. I hope you both get some support through this, not just for the legal stuff but for your mental health as a couple. Accidents like this are traumatic for everyone involved, even the person who walked away unhurt.

Okay two things:

1. Get a PI attorney on the phone this week. Most do free consultations. Camera footage of a clear red-light violation is about as good as it gets for your case — don't let that advantage get muddled by saying the wrong thing to an adjuster.

2. Your husband needs to talk to someone. A therapist, his doctor, someone. You cannot heal from broken ribs while also carrying his emotional weight. That's not fair to you and it's not actually helping him process anything.

I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that there's camera footage is genuinely huge. So many people are in situations where it's one person's word against another's and it drags on forever. You have evidence. That clarity, as painful as everything else is, should at least take one giant source of stress off the table for both of you.

Has the camera footage actually been officially obtained and documented yet, or is this something you're assuming exists because you know there's a camera there? I'd make sure law enforcement or your attorney actually secures that footage soon — businesses and municipalities don't always keep recordings indefinitely, and some overwrite after 30 days or less.