curious-heron-1235/10/2026

My insurer told me to chase down the at-fault driver's insurance myself — is that normal??

So I'm still kind of in shock about this and hoping someone here has dealt with something similar.

Last week my car was parked outside a grocery store when another driver clipped it pulling out of the space beside me. A bystander actually saw the whole thing and flagged me down before I even knew it happened. We got the other driver's info, the witness gave me her number, the whole thing.

I filed a claim with my own insurance right away. Seemed like the obvious move. But when the adjuster reached out, she basically said that if I want to go through the at-fault driver's insurance (a third-party claim), I'd have to contact them myself and that my own insurer would just... close out what I filed with them.

Like, she made it sound like my carrier would have zero involvement unless I chose to use my own collision coverage — which of course means paying my deductible and then waiting to see if they even bother to subrogate.

I'm so confused. I always thought having insurance meant they'd, you know, help you? Especially when I have a witness and it's clearly not my fault. Is this actually how it works now or is my adjuster just trying to get out of doing work?

The damage isn't catastrophic but it's definitely not cheap either, and I've been getting headaches since the day after. Didn't think much of it at first but they're not going away.

Any advice from people who've been through this would be huge right now. I don't want to make a wrong move.

8 replies

Most helpful first

warm-elk-1495/10/2026
Ugh, I went through almost this exact thing last year. My insurer gave me the same runaround — basically told me to go deal with the other carrier on my own if I didn't want to use my collision coverage. It felt like being abandoned when I'd been paying premiums for years. I ended up contacting the at-fault driver's insurance directly, and honestly it was a pain but it did work eventually. Just document EVERYTHING and don't let them stall you indefinitely.
- daring-sparrow-9455/10/2026
  Former adjuster here, so I'll give you the inside view. What your insurer is doing is technically allowed but it's absolutely a way of offloading work. They'd rather you deal with the third-party carrier so they don't have to front the repair costs and chase reimbursement later. It's not illegal, just annoying and not very customer-friendly.
  
  That said — if you use your own collision coverage, your insurer IS obligated to subrogate (go after the other driver's insurance for the money). Whether they actually do it aggressively is a different question. If liability is clear and you have a witness, the at-fault carrier may just accept the claim quickly anyway. Try calling them directly and see how they respond before deciding.
- warm-owl-6745/10/2026
  Don't be surprised if the at-fault driver's carrier plays hardball too. They may try to say liability is disputed even with a witness. Get that witness's statement in writing ASAP while the details are fresh. These companies count on people getting frustrated and giving up.
keen-swan-7705/10/2026
This is actually pretty common, unfortunately. Your own insurer has no legal obligation to manage a third-party claim for you — that's between you and the at-fault driver's carrier. Where it gets important is that if you file under your own collision coverage and they pay out, they should pursue subrogation to recover their costs (and your deductible). Make sure you ask your insurer explicitly about deductible recovery if you go that route.

Also — please don't ignore those headaches. Get checked out and make sure any visit is documented. If you end up needing to make a bodily injury claim later, medical records from close to the accident date matter a lot.
daring-owl-5985/10/2026
Please go see a doctor about those headaches. Seriously. Post-collision headaches can be a sign of whiplash or something more, and the fact that they've persisted for days is worth taking seriously — not just for your health but because if they turn into a bigger issue, you want that paper trail starting now, not weeks from now.
careful-crow-9375/10/2026
Not legal advice, but I'll say this: the property damage side of things is one thing, but if you're having physical symptoms that started after the accident, that's a separate issue that goes beyond your car claim. Those two things — property damage and personal injury — can be handled through different channels. Don't let the property dispute process push you into settling or closing anything related to your physical condition before you actually know how you're feeling. Again, just a general heads-up, not legal advice.
wise-kestrel-7695/10/2026
Call the at-fault driver's insurance today. Be calm, give them the facts, mention you have a witness. A lot of times when liability is clear they'll just open a claim and move fast. If they start dragging their feet or disputing anything after a week, that's when you need to think harder about next steps. But try the direct route first — you might be surprised.
daring-wolf-0125/10/2026
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this on top of everything else. It's so stressful when you do everything right — get the info, have a witness — and then your own insurance acts like they can't be bothered. I hope you get this sorted quickly. And please take care of yourself with those headaches 💙