Months into recovery and some days I genuinely don't want to keep going — anyone else?
Putting this out there because I need to know I'm not the only one.
I do have a therapist and my doctor knows where my head is at. I'm safe. I just need to say this somewhere that people might actually get it.
A distracted driver ran a red light and T-boned me back in the spring. I had a pretty severe concussion on top of some neck and back injuries. The concussion stuff is what's wrecking me the most — I can't handle bright rooms, I can't follow a conversation for long, I get dizzy just walking to my kitchen. I had a job I loved. I was good at it. Now I can barely send an email without my head spinning.
My employer was "understanding" for about six weeks, then started pushing me to come back before I was cleared. When I couldn't, they found a reason to let me go. I'm fighting that separately but honestly I don't have the bandwidth.
I've been mostly housebound for going on four months. My world has gotten so small. I have people who love me — I know that — but I feel like a burden every single day. The person I was before this accident feels like a stranger. I used to go hiking on weekends. I used to host dinner parties. Now I wear sunglasses indoors and cancel on everyone.
I don't wish this on anybody. But please tell me somebody out there has come out the other side of this. Or at least that you understand what this in-between place feels like. Because right now it's really, really heavy.