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The Shoulder
curious-kestrel-179

Nobody warned me the mental part of recovering from a crash would be this hard

I don't even know how to start this so I'll just say it — I was in a pretty serious collision about six weeks ago. A truck ran a red light and hit the driver's side while my seven-year-old was in the back seat. He walked away with a bruised shoulder. I ended up with a shattered wrist that needed surgery and pins, and apparently I lost consciousness at the scene, though I don't remember that part at all.

Here's the thing nobody talks about: the physical stuff is awful but I kind of expected that. What I did NOT expect was my brain doing whatever it's doing right now. I'll be doing something totally normal — washing dishes, folding laundry — and suddenly I'm just... back there. Heart pounding, hands shaking. Sometimes it's not even a full memory, it's more like a feeling or a sound. The crunch. I don't know if that counts as a flashback or if my mind is just filling in blanks because I blacked out.

I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my life about it. My partner is already stretched so thin holding everything together while I can't drive or do much with my right hand. My mom gets visibly upset when I bring anything up, so I end up comforting HER. My friends check in but I can tell they want to hear "I'm getting better" not the real answer.

I finally got a therapist referral but the earliest appointment is two months out. Two months feels like forever right now.

I'm not in crisis. I'm not falling apart. I'm actually pretty determined to get through this. I just need somewhere to put these feelings where they won't scare anyone.

Does it get better? Did anyone else go through this kind of mental fog after a crash?

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