kind-fox-9155/13/2026

Other driver blew a stop sign, now their insurance is blaming my husband — we have it on video??

I'm so frustrated I could scream. About two weeks ago my husband was driving home from work and got T-boned at an intersection about a mile from our house. The other driver had a stop sign — my husband had no sign, no signal, nothing — he had the right of way completely.

Here's the thing: we have a dashcam. You can clearly see the other car rolling through without stopping and slamming into the driver side. My husband had a concussion and some soft tissue stuff in his shoulder and neck. His car is pretty wrecked.

We filed everything right away. Police came to the scene. The other driver even told the officer they "didn't see" the sign. We thought this was an open-and-shut situation.

Then we hear from the other driver's insurance adjuster. They're saying my husband was going "too fast for conditions" and that he shares fault. They won't admit liability and are dragging their feet on everything.

Our own insurance hasn't officially weighed in yet. Someone in my family is telling us to just run it through our own collision coverage, pay the deductible, and move on. But that feels completely wrong when my husband didn't do anything to cause this and he's still having headaches and going to physical therapy twice a week.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of blame-shifting from the at-fault driver's insurance? Is the dashcam footage actually useful, or do they just ignore it? Should we be talking to an attorney even before our own insurance makes a decision?

Any advice or experience appreciated. I feel like we're being gaslit by an insurance company and I don't know what to do next.

9 replies

Most helpful first

brave-elk-2725/13/2026
This is almost exactly what happened to me two years ago. Guy ran a red light, hit me, and his insurance immediately came back saying I was "partially responsible" for not avoiding the collision. It's a tactic — they throw comparative fault at you hoping you'll settle for less or just give up. The dashcam footage absolutely matters. Make sure you're preserving the original file, not just a copy, and don't share the raw footage directly with the other driver's adjuster without understanding what you're giving them.
- candid-raven-9115/13/2026
  Not legal advice, but I'd really encourage you to at least consult with a personal injury attorney before doing anything else — most offer free consultations for situations like this. The reason is that once you run it through your own collision coverage, there are subrogation dynamics at play, and how you handle the other carrier's communications right now can affect leverage later. The dashcam footage is potentially very valuable but it needs to be handled properly. An attorney can also send a preservation letter to make sure the other driver's insurer doesn't claim they lost anything on their end.
- daring-hare-9745/13/2026
  Don't pay that deductible yet. Running it through your own insurance before fault is determined could hurt you. Back up that dashcam footage in at least two places right now. Get the police report as soon as it's available — that officer's notes and any citations issued matter a lot. And stop answering the other driver's insurance calls without knowing your rights first.
daring-fox-7265/13/2026
"Too fast for conditions" is one of the oldest tricks in the book. They don't even need it to be true — they just need to plant some doubt so they can reduce their payout or deny it entirely. Don't get too friendly with that adjuster. Every conversation is them building their file against your husband. I'd stop talking to them directly if you can.
- steady-newt-9885/13/2026
  Please make sure your husband is keeping detailed records of every symptom, every appointment, every day he misses work or can't do normal activities. Concussion and soft tissue injuries can look minor on paper but drag on for months, and insurers love to argue that because nothing showed on an early scan, nothing is really wrong. His PT notes, his doctor's visit summaries, even a personal journal of how he's feeling day to day — all of that builds a picture of the real impact this had on his life.
plain-fox-0695/13/2026
I used to work on the claims side and honestly, what they're doing is pretty standard practice — raise a comparative fault argument early, see if the claimant accepts a reduced offer or walks away. It doesn't mean they actually believe it, it's a negotiating posture. That said, dashcam footage genuinely does change the calculus internally. When there's clear video, good adjusters know a jury would destroy them. The problem is getting that footage in front of the right person at their company, not just a frontline rep.
brave-wren-2025/13/2026
I'm so sorry you're both going through this on top of the actual recovery. It's exhausting to have to fight like this when you're already dealing with injuries and a wrecked car. You're not wrong for being angry. Trust your gut that something isn't right here — because it isn't.
mellow-finch-6785/13/2026
What does the dashcam footage actually show in terms of your husband's speed? I'm not doubting you, but "too fast for conditions" is vague enough that if there's any ambiguity in the video they'll try to exploit it. Also, was a citation issued to the other driver at the scene? That matters a lot for how this plays out.
bright-grouse-5285/13/2026
A few practical things: First, request the police report in writing and keep a copy of that request with the date. Second, most states have a process called an uninsured/underinsured motorist claim or a bad faith complaint if an insurer is unreasonably denying a valid claim — worth looking up your state's insurance commissioner process. Third, if your husband got a concussion and is still in PT, the injury side of this is potentially separate from the property damage side, and they're handled differently. Don't let them bundle it all into one lowball offer.