Was a passenger in a crash I think was intentional — carrying so much guilt I can barely breathe

I was a passenger in a bad crash too and the guilt of coming out better than the other people in the car — I can't even describe it. It's this weird, heavy shame that doesn't make logical sense but it's so real. You didn't cause this. You got in a car with someone you had no solid reason to believe would hurt you. Please don't carry his choices as your own.

What you're describing — the guilt, the intrusive flashbacks focused on the aftermath rather than the crash itself, the feeling of isolation — those are really textbook PTSD responses, and I mean that in a validating way, not a dismissive one. The fact that your flashbacks center on other people's pain rather than your own injury makes total sense given what you witnessed. Keep working with your therapist. Survivor's guilt is treatable but it genuinely takes time and the right support. You're doing the right thing by talking about it.

Not legal advice, but since you asked about the intentional angle — if there's evidence the crash was deliberate, that shifts things significantly from a standard negligence claim. It could implicate criminal statutes, and civil claims work differently when intent is involved. Your friend's situation especially warrants a consultation with a PI attorney who has experience in cases beyond simple at-fault accidents. The prior threats you mentioned? Document everything you remember. Screenshots, dates, anything. Don't wait.

If any insurance company contacts you — even yours, even framed as 'just checking in' — be very careful what you say about the intentional aspect before you've talked to a lawyer. Insurers have a strong financial interest in framing things as accidents and may try to complicate claims if criminal intent gets raised. I'm not saying stay silent forever, just don't give recorded statements without knowing your rights first.

I just want to say — you were also a victim here. The things you described from the weeks before the crash? That's not a normal situation. That's someone who was dangerous and you were in that danger too. Please be as gentle with yourself as you would be with your friend if the roles were reversed.

Two practical things: First, write down everything you remember about the threats before the crash — exact words if you can, approximate dates, any witnesses. Memory fades and if this ever goes anywhere legally, that documentation matters. Second, make sure YOUR injuries and PTSD diagnosis are documented by doctors, not just your friend's. Your recovery and mental health treatment are part of this story too, even if you feel like you 'got off easy.'

I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but the fact that you're in therapy, you got a diagnosis, and you're actively trying to process this instead of burying it — that's genuinely huge. A lot of people in your situation would just go numb and white-knuckle through it for years. You're already doing the hard work.

From a process standpoint — if there was a police report filed after the crash, try to get a copy if you haven't. If any of those prior threats were made in writing (texts, messages), preserve them now, backed up somewhere safe. Even if you're not sure anything will come of it legally, having that paper trail early costs you nothing and could matter a lot later for you or your friend.