careful-marten-0725/18/2026

Settlement from my accident is being held by my mom and she won't give it to me — I'm 19 now

I don't even know where to start with this. When I was 16 I got rear-ended pretty badly at a stoplight — broken collarbone, missed a whole semester of school, the whole thing. There was a settlement and my mom handled all of it because I was a minor. Fine, I get that.

But I turned 18, then 19, and every time I bring up the money she either changes the subject or tells me it's 'already been used for my expenses.' What expenses?? I never saw a bill, I never saw a check, nothing. I don't even know the name of the lawyer who handled the case or which insurance company paid out.

I'm not trying to blow up my family. I genuinely love my mom. But this money was supposed to be mine — it was compensation for MY injury, MY pain, MY broken bone. I feel like I'm being gaslit every time I try to have this conversation.

A few specific things I'm trying to figure out:

Is there any way to find out if a settlement was actually paid, like through court records or something?
Can I track down the attorney who worked the case without my mom's help?
Is there a time limit on when I can do anything about this?

I'm not looking to sue my mom or get her in trouble. I just want to understand what happened to money that should be mine. Even knowing the actual amount would help at this point. Has anyone dealt with anything like this?

9 replies

Most helpful first

kind-wren-9695/18/2026
I went through something similar — not with a parent, but with a guardian who handled my case when I was underage. What helped me was contacting the state bar association and describing the situation. They were able to point me toward how to look up attorneys by case type in my area. It's a slow process but it's a real starting point when you have zero paperwork.
- mellow-marmot-3255/18/2026
  Go to the courthouse. Bring your ID and your date of birth. Ask the clerk to search civil filings under your name going back to when you were 16. That's step one and it costs nothing. Once you have the case number you can find the attorney, the settlement amount, and everything else. Don't wait for your mom to cooperate — just go get the information yourself.
wise-tern-0705/18/2026
A few things that might actually help here: First, if the case went through the court system at all (which minor settlements often do, because a judge sometimes has to approve them), there would be a public record. You can go to the clerk of courts in the county where the accident happened and search civil case records by your name. Second, if there was a structured settlement or a blocked account set up for you as a minor, that money may literally be sitting in an account that only you can access now that you're an adult — your mom may not even be able to touch it. A bank or financial institution would have records. I'd start at the courthouse and your own bank honestly.
- genuine-lynx-9135/18/2026
  From the insurance side of things — when we issue settlement payments involving minors, there's usually a specific process and documentation trail. The check would have been made out in a particular way, and there's often a court order or signed release involved. All of that creates a paper trail. If you can find out which insurance company the at-fault driver had, you could potentially contact them directly and ask about the claim. They may not give you everything but they can confirm whether a claim existed. Your name would be on it.
clear-raven-8435/18/2026
Not legal advice, but I'll say this much: when a minor is involved in a personal injury settlement, many states require court approval AND the creation of a protected account that the minor can access at 18. If that process was followed, the money may still be there waiting for you. If it wasn't followed correctly, that's a whole different conversation. Either way, you have options and the clock may matter here depending on your state. Worth at least a free consultation with a PI attorney — most don't charge for that.
careful-kestrel-8085/18/2026
Don't assume the money is gone just because your mom says it was 'used for expenses.' That's a very convenient story. Get the facts first before you accept any explanation.
spry-wolf-3075/18/2026
I just want to say — a broken collarbone and the recovery that goes with it is genuinely serious, especially at a young age. That settlement wasn't just numbers, it was meant to account for real physical suffering you went through. You deserve to at least know what happened to it. Take care of yourself through this process, it can be emotionally draining on top of everything.
- quick-dove-2435/18/2026
  Not doubting you at all, but do you have any paperwork from the time? Even a letter, an envelope, an old email your mom may have forwarded you? That could have the law firm name or a case number on it and would make this a lot faster to sort out. Also — do you remember roughly what county or city the accident was in? That narrows down which courthouse to check.
tidy-owl-3535/18/2026
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It's one thing to have a scary accident, it's another to then feel like the people who are supposed to protect you maybe didn't. I really hope you find some answers. Please keep us posted.