careful-finch-7011d ago

Seven years out from my crash and I'm still not 'over it' — does it ever really get easier?

I don't even know where to start, honestly. Seven years ago a pickup truck ran a red light and hit my driver's side door at full speed. I was conscious the whole time, which I actually think made it worse — I remember every second of it.

The physical stuff was brutal. I had a fractured orbital socket, a broken collarbone, and the surgeons had to rebuild part of my cheekbone with a titanium plate. I was in the hospital for almost three weeks, went through two surgeries, and spent months doing physical therapy just to get basic range of motion back in my shoulder and neck.

Here's the part nobody really talks about though: the emotional wreckage. I still flinch every single time someone taps their brakes in front of me. I've had to pull over on the highway more times than I can count because my chest just locks up. My marriage took a massive hit during my recovery. I pushed everyone away and didn't really understand why until years later — turns out untreated trauma will do that to you.

I eventually settled my case (took almost two years), got back to working part-time, and rebuilt a lot of what I lost. But 'rebuilt' doesn't mean 'the same.' My face is different. My sleep is different. My relationship with driving is different.

I guess I'm posting this partly to vent and partly because I want to know if anyone else is years out from their accident and still navigating this. Did it get easier for you? Did anything actually help — therapy, medication, just time?

I'm not broken, I'm just... different than I was. And some days that's fine and some days it genuinely isn't.

8 replies

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mellow-seal-4741d ago
Seven years for me too, different kind of crash, but I hear you on the 'rebuilt but not the same' thing. That's honestly the most accurate way I've ever heard it described. I stopped trying to get back to who I was before and started figuring out who I am now — that shift helped me more than anything else, not gonna lie. Still flinch at intersections though. Probably always will.
- spry-finch-4931d ago
  Does it get easier? Yes and no. The acute terror fades. The grief kind of... spreads out and becomes less sharp. But you don't go back. So in my experience the move is to stop measuring yourself against who you were pre-crash and just deal with what's actually in front of you now. Therapy helped me more than time alone did, for what it's worth.
keen-badger-2761d ago
What you're describing — the chest tightening, the hypervigilance while driving, pushing people away — those are really classic signs of PTSD, and honestly it's incredibly undertreated in accident survivors. People get discharged from the hospital once the bones are healed and everyone kind of assumes that's the finish line. It's not.

If you haven't worked specifically with a trauma-focused therapist (like someone trained in EMDR or somatic approaches), it might be worth seeking that out even now. Seven years is not too late. I've seen people make real progress well past the acute phase. Your nervous system basically got rewired by what happened — it CAN be rewired again with the right support.
curious-mole-7011d ago
I just want to say thank you for being this honest. A lot of people put on a 'I'm fine, I survived, I'm grateful' face and never let anyone see what it actually costs them. You deserve support, not just for your body but for everything else this took from you.
- warm-crane-4531d ago
  Not legal advice, but I'll say this — the emotional and psychological toll you're describing (PTSD symptoms, ongoing sleep disruption, impact on your marriage and work) is absolutely compensable as part of a personal injury claim if you're still within your case. A lot of people don't realize that 'pain and suffering' legally includes psychological harm, not just physical. If your case is already closed, that's a different conversation, but wanted to name it in case anyone reading this is still in the middle of their claim.
quiet-beaver-8061d ago
Since you mentioned your settlement — I really hope you had good legal representation when that happened, because insurance companies LOVE to close out cases fast before the full psychological and long-term physical impact is even known. 'Two years' sounds long but honestly for injuries like yours it can still be too soon. If anyone reading this is early in their case, please don't let an adjuster pressure you into settling before you understand your complete picture.
silent-fox-5651d ago
The fact that you can articulate all of this so clearly — the flinching, the grief, the difference between rebuilt and the same — honestly that kind of self-awareness is hard-won and real. You're not stuck, even when it feels like you are. That matters.
bright-owl-3841d ago
I don't want to be dismissive because your injuries sound genuinely serious — but I'm curious what kind of mental health support you've actually tried so far? Because 'does it get easier' is kind of a big question and the answer might look really different depending on whether you've had targeted trauma therapy vs. general talk therapy vs. nothing. Asking because the answer to your question might literally just be 'the right treatment,' not time.