silent-newt-8461d ago

Spinal surgery 4 months ago and my doctor says I'm 'doing great' — I can barely shower

I don't even know where to start with this. Back in the spring I got hit head-on by a driver who ran a red light while I was on my way to pick up my kid from school. The impact was brutal — I ended up with two fractured vertebrae and a collapsed lung. Had surgery about six weeks after the crash to stabilize my spine.

Four months out now and my follow-up notes literally say my recovery is "progressing well" and my pain is "adequately controlled." I want to know who they talked to, because it wasn't me. I cannot stand long enough to make a sandwich. I had to buy a shower chair because standing for five minutes sends shooting pain down both legs. My employer keeps emailing asking for a return-to-work timeline and I genuinely don't know what to tell them because I don't know.

The part that's wrecking me mentally is how alone this feels. My family loves me and they try, but they don't get it. My partner keeps saying things like "you look so much better than last month" and maybe that's true but I still can't sleep more than two hours without waking up in agony. I feel like I'm supposed to perform recovery for everyone around me.

And then there's the insurance side of things, which is its own nightmare that I don't even have the energy to get into right now.

Has anyone else felt like their medical records describe a completely different person than the one actually living in their body? How do you even push back on that? How did you cope when everyone expected you to just... bounce back?

9 replies

Most helpful first

hearty-tern-6491d ago
The part about your records describing a different person — I felt that so hard. After my accident I kept reading phrases like 'patient reports improvement' in my notes and thinking, did I say that?? I learned pretty quickly to be very literal and specific at every appointment. Don't say 'it hurts a lot.' Say 'I woke up four times last night, I couldn't stand for more than three minutes this morning, and I had to sit down twice just brushing my teeth.' Force them to write the actual picture, not a sanitized version of it. It takes energy you don't have, but it matters later.
- daring-wren-4341d ago
  What you're describing — the radiating leg pain, the inability to stand for even a few minutes — those are real, documented symptoms that should absolutely be in your chart. A lot of post-surgical patients are discharged from the acute phase and sort of fall through the cracks into this limbo where nobody owns your pain management anymore.
  
  A few things I'd suggest: Ask for a referral to a pain management specialist if you don't have one. They're different from your surgeon and they actually focus on quality of life, not just 'the hardware is in the right place.' Also ask specifically about PT that's calibrated for post-fusion — not generic physical therapy. And if you have a patient portal, you have the right to add your own notes or request corrections to your visit summaries. Use it.
- plain-raven-6951d ago
  Please be careful about what you say to your employer's insurance or HR right now. I know you're exhausted and just want people to understand, but anything you put in writing about your functional limitations (or any hint that you might be coming back soon) can get used in ways you don't expect. Keep responses vague and let your doctors communicate formally about return-to-work stuff.
- keen-seal-8131d ago
  Not legal advice, but the gap between what you're actually experiencing and what your medical records say is something a personal injury attorney would want to know about immediately. That discrepancy can affect your case in a significant way. Most PI attorneys do free consultations — it might be worth talking to one just so you understand your options before you make any decisions about returning to work or communicating with the at-fault driver's insurance. Just an option worth knowing exists.
mellow-fox-5891d ago
I used to work on the claims side and I can tell you — when your medical records say 'pain adequately controlled' and 'progressing well,' adjusters will anchor hard to that language when valuing your claim. Those notes become the story of your injury whether they're accurate or not. I'd seriously consider getting a second medical opinion from someone who isn't connected to the original treating team, just to get a fresh set of eyes who might document things differently and more accurately.
warm-elk-9831d ago
I just want to say — you're not being dramatic. You had major spinal surgery. Four months is nothing. The fact that you're upright and writing this out coherently is honestly remarkable given what you've been through. Please don't let anyone rush you, including yourself.
plain-wolf-5581d ago
Two practical things: First, get a written note from your doctor specifically stating you are NOT cleared to return to work yet — not a verbal, a written one you can hand to HR. Second, start keeping a daily pain journal. Date, time, what you tried to do, how it went, pain scale. It sounds tedious but if this ends up in front of anyone — a judge, an adjuster, a disability reviewer — that journal is gold. Start today.
clever-mole-7511d ago
Quick question — when the notes say 'adequately controlled,' did you ever explicitly tell the doctor the pain was not adequately controlled during the visit? I ask because sometimes people downplay in the room and then feel unheard afterward. Not saying that's what happened, genuinely asking. If you did say it clearly and it still got written that way, that's a real problem worth escalating.
hearty-badger-3831d ago
I know this phase feels endless and invisible. But the fact that you're naming it and asking for help — that matters. A lot of people just go silent and white-knuckle through it alone. You're already doing something important by putting this into words.