Suing me AND their own insurance company at the same time — is that even normal??

Not legal advice, but what you're describing — a plaintiff suing both the other driver and their own insurer in the same case — is actually a thing that happens when uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage is involved. The plaintiff may be arguing their own policy owes them money on top of whatever they might get from you. The settlement proposal accepted by the insurance co-defendant is a separate track from your liability. You'd typically get a copy of that document by sending a written discovery request to opposing counsel — a simple letter or email requesting production of the document should at minimum start that conversation. But honestly, if you're going through this unrepresented, even a one-hour consult with a local attorney could save you a lot of confusion.

I was also sued after an accident and tried to go it alone for a while — it is SO overwhelming just reading the legal filings, let alone trying to respond correctly. I didn't even know I could request documents from the other side until someone told me about discovery. Hang in there, you're not as lost as you feel.

The document you're looking for might be called a 'Proposal for Settlement' or 'Offer of Judgment' depending on your state. If it's not attached to the docket filing, you can usually just send a written request directly to opposing counsel asking for a copy — something like 'I am requesting a complete copy of the Proposal for Settlement referenced in the [docket entry].' Keep it simple and professional, and send it via email so you have a paper trail. If they ignore you or refuse, that's when you'd escalate with a formal discovery request. Most of the time though, opposing counsel will just send it over when asked plainly.

Be really careful here. The fact that the insurance company settled their piece doesn't mean the pressure is off you — in some cases it can actually make plaintiffs more aggressive in pursuing the remaining defendant because they've already locked in partial recovery. Don't assume the settlement between plaintiff and the insurer protects you in any way.

From the insurance side, when a plaintiff sues their own carrier alongside the other driver, the insurer is usually focused entirely on their own exposure — they're not looking out for you at all. Their settlement has nothing to do with your defense. Whatever they agreed to is between them and the plaintiff. You're still very much on the hook for your portion unless something in that agreement specifically releases you, which would be unusual. Definitely get eyes on that document.

This sounds so stressful, I'm sorry you're dealing with this alone. Have you looked into any legal aid organizations in your area? Some of them help people who are representing themselves in civil cases, even if they can't take the whole case on. Might be worth a phone call just to get some guidance.

Email opposing counsel today. Literally just say: 'I am the pro se defendant in this matter. Please provide a copy of the Proposal for Settlement and the executed acceptance referenced in docket entry [X]. Thank you.' That's it. They are generally required to cooperate with discovery even when the other party is unrepresented. If they don't respond within a week, follow up in writing again. Document everything.

Quick question — do you actually have any insurance coverage of your own for this accident? If you have an active auto policy, your insurer should be providing you a defense attorney at no cost to you. A lot of people don't realize that's part of what liability coverage is for. If you have coverage and you're still going it alone, call your insurance company immediately.