I survived the crash but I don't recognize my life anymore — anyone else feel this way?
I don't even know how to start this but I need somewhere to put it.
About four months ago a driver blew through a red light and hit the passenger side of our car going full speed. I was in that seat. The impact was bad enough that I was unconscious when the paramedics arrived. I woke up in the ICU with a shattered collarbone, three broken ribs, and a fractured pelvis. I had two surgeries in five days.
The physical stuff — I fought through it. I did every PT session, I smiled when people visited, I kept saying I'm doing great, I'm getting there. Partly because I didn't want to scare my family. Partly because saying it out loud made me feel like it might be true.
But now I'm home and back to "normal life" and nothing is normal. I can't sit at my kitchen table for a full meal without needing to shift constantly. I can't pick up my dog. I get winded walking to my mailbox some days. My friends keep suggesting weekend trips and acting like I should be celebrating being alive — and I AM grateful — but I also just feel like a stranger in my own body.
The worst part is the car thing. I rode in my sister's car last week and had a full panic response. Sweating, couldn't breathe, the whole thing. I used to love road trips. Now I white-knuckle a five-minute grocery run.
I'm not looking for legal advice right now, I just want to know — did anyone else hit this wall months later when the adrenaline wears off? How did you get through it?