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The Shoulder
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T-boned last week and I can't stop replaying it — anyone else feel weirdly ashamed?

I don't even know how to start this but I've been holding it in and need somewhere to put it.

I got hit pretty hard at an intersection about a week ago. I was making a left turn I've made probably hundreds of times — checked both ways, had a clear gap, started going. Out of nowhere a car came flying through at what witnesses said was way over the speed limit and caught the back half of my car. The whole thing spun. My airbags didn't even deploy so I keep telling myself "it wasn't that bad" but I also can't sleep and I flinch every time a car gets close to me now.

The part that's eating me alive is the car wasn't technically mine. It belongs to my dad — it's basically the family's only real vehicle and I'd been using it for over a year. I had this whole attachment to it. I know that sounds dramatic but it really felt like my car. It's probably totaled.

We're not in a great spot financially right now and the timing couldn't be worse. I keep running the scenario over and over wondering if I could have waited one more second. But everyone keeps reminding me the other driver was going way too fast — not my fault I didn't account for someone ignoring traffic laws.

Insurance is still sorting out liability and I'm terrified of what comes next. The physical stuff feels minor (some neck stiffness, headaches) but the anxiety feels bigger than the injury somehow. Is that normal? Has anyone else felt guilty about an accident that wasn't really your fault? How do you shake it?

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