bold-fox-5145/11/2026

T-boned while stopped, one driver denying everything — how does this even work?

Still trying to wrap my head around all of this, so please bear with me.

About three weeks ago my partner and I were completely stopped at a red light when we got absolutely slammed from the side. Turns out someone had run a red light at a cross street, which pushed another car directly into us. The impact was bad enough that my door caved in and my window shattered on top of me.

I ended up in the ER with a fractured rib, a pretty serious shoulder injury, and what the doctors are calling a "significant concussion." I'm still dealing with headaches and weird vision stuff daily. My partner has a neck injury they're now saying might need more imaging.

Here's where it gets complicated:

The driver who physically hit us has been cooperative and their insurance acknowledged some fault
The driver who originally ran the red and started the whole chain reaction is straight-up ghosting everyone — their insurance, the police follow-up, all of it. They did get cited at the scene though.

I have so many questions I don't even know where to start:

1. Can both drivers be held responsible at the same time, or does it have to be one or the other? 2. If the red-light runner keeps ignoring insurance, does that automatically mean a lawsuit? 3. Is there any way to get involved in the traffic citation process? Like can we show up to that hearing or talk to anyone before it?

We have kids and I'm currently out of work. I'm not trying to "get rich" off this — I just want our medical bills covered and to feel like the person who caused this faces something. Any insight from people who've been through similar situations would really help right now.

9 replies

Most helpful first

genuine-swan-8055/11/2026
Oh this multi-car chain reaction stuff is so disorienting, I went through something similar and the hardest part was figuring out who was actually responsible for what. Short answer from my experience: yes, both drivers can potentially share fault. It doesn't have to be either/or. Hang in there — it took months but things eventually got sorted out for us.
- plain-elk-9545/11/2026
  I used to work for a carrier and I can tell you — when one party goes silent and won't engage, it actually creates a documented paper trail that can work against them later. Adjusters note every missed contact attempt. It doesn't make them invisible; it can actually strengthen a case that they were evading responsibility. The citation at the scene is also something that gets heavily weighted in fault determinations internally.
- clear-bison-6275/11/2026
  I'm so sorry you're dealing with this on top of recovering and taking care of your kids. That's an enormous amount of stress. Please try to let people help you right now — both with the legal stuff and just day-to-day life. You shouldn't have to figure all of this out alone.
- quiet-heron-0745/11/2026
  Two things: stop talking to any insurance company (yours included) without knowing what you're doing, and get a personal injury consultation this week. Most PI attorneys do free consults and work on contingency so there's no upfront cost. You have a fractured rib, a head injury, a partner with neck issues, and a party actively dodging responsibility. This is exactly the situation where having someone in your corner makes a real difference.
- plain-sparrow-0935/11/2026
  Quick question — did your own insurance company explain whether you have uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage? Depending on what the red-light runner actually has for coverage (or doesn't have), that policy provision could matter a lot. Worth asking your agent directly and getting a clear answer in writing.
bold-tern-6095/11/2026
Not legal advice, but what you're describing sounds like a shared-liability situation where multiple parties may be responsible for a single chain of events. The fact that one party is unresponsive doesn't necessarily mean you're stuck — it often just means the path to resolution looks different (sometimes that means litigation, sometimes it shakes loose once lawyers get involved). The citation is meaningful too; it creates a record. Talking to a PI attorney sooner rather than later would really help you understand your specific options here.
candid-sparrow-7855/11/2026
Please be careful with the cooperative driver's insurance company. "Cooperative" does NOT mean they're on your side. They're collecting everything you say right now to minimize what they pay out. I'd strongly suggest not giving any recorded statements without understanding your rights first.
steady-mole-7505/11/2026
On your question about the traffic citation hearing — generally speaking, victims can attend those proceedings as observers since they're public. Whether you can speak depends a lot on the jurisdiction and how the hearing is structured. Some prosecutors' offices have a victim liaison or victim services contact you can reach out to ahead of time. I'd look up your local court's victim services office and just ask — they deal with these questions regularly and it costs nothing to call.
humble-swift-8035/11/2026
Please don't brush off the lingering headaches and vision issues. Post-concussion symptoms can linger and sometimes indicate something that needs further evaluation. Make sure you're being seen by a neurologist or concussion specialist, not just your regular GP. Document every symptom, every bad day, every time you can't concentrate or feel off — that medical record becomes really important down the road.