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Totaled my car after 4 months, gap insurance is refusing to pay — am I just screwed?

I'm honestly at a loss right now and could use some perspective from people who've been through something similar.

Back in the spring I bought a brand new SUV — financed the whole thing, so I owe basically what I paid for it. Four months later, I get rear-ended at a red light by somebody who blew through the intersection. Total was my fault, zero question — the other driver even admitted it to the cops on scene.

My car gets towed, the other driver's insurance eventually accepts liability (took them almost two weeks just to call me back), and my own insurer steps in to move things along. They do an inspection and declare it a total loss. Fine, I kind of expected that.

Here's where it gets ugly. Their payout offer covers maybe 80% of what I still owe on the loan. That gap — the difference between what the car is "worth" and what I actually owe — is supposed to be covered by a gap policy I bought separately through the dealership's finance office.

Except now the gap company is telling me my policy lapsed. Apparently when I switched banks for a better interest rate about six weeks before the accident, I was supposed to notify the gap provider and potentially re-enroll. I had absolutely no idea. Nobody told me. The refinance paperwork was already overwhelming and gap coverage wasn't even mentioned.

So now I'm sitting here, car is gone, still on the hook for a loan on a vehicle I can't drive, and two different companies are basically pointing at each other.

Has anyone dealt with a gap policy lapsing after a refinance? Is this actually enforceable on their end or is there any room to push back? I'm not even sure who to call first at this point.

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