Two bad accidents before I turned 20 and now I'm terrified to drive — anyone else?

You are absolutely not going crazy. I was rear-ended pretty badly two years ago and the anxiety afterward was almost worse than the physical stuff. I'd white-knuckle every merge and flinch at brake lights for months. It does get better — slowly — but it's real and it's valid. Don't let anyone tell you to just "get over it."

What you're describing sounds a lot like a trauma response — totally textbook after repeated scary events. Your nervous system basically learned that cars equal danger, and it's trying to protect you. The physical symptoms (tight chest, hands gripping, panic) aren't you being weak; they're your body doing what it was designed to do after threat exposure.

I'd genuinely encourage you to look into a therapist who does EMDR or cognitive processing therapy — both are specifically designed for accident-related trauma and can work really fast compared to regular talk therapy. Also worth mentioning the neck stiffness to a doctor if you haven't already, because sometimes unresolved physical pain keeps the anxiety loop going.

Therapy. Specifically trauma-focused therapy, not just general talk. I know that might sound like a lot but honestly six sessions of the right kind of treatment can do more than a year of white-knuckling through drives hoping it gets better on its own. In the meantime, short low-stakes drives — parking lot, quiet street, ten minutes — can help your brain slowly re-learn that most drives end fine.

Not trying to be harsh here, but I'm curious — have you talked to a doctor at all since the second accident? Sometimes anxiety this intense after a collision can have a physical component people don't connect, like a concussion that wasn't fully diagnosed or even just pain that's keeping your nervous system on high alert. Worth ruling out before assuming it's purely psychological.

Not legal advice, but just so you know — anxiety and emotional distress after an accident are real, documentable damages. If the second crash involved another driver's negligence, the psychological impact isn't something you just have to absorb quietly. A lot of people don't realize that when they're focused on the physical stuff. Worth at least having a conversation with someone about your options if you haven't already.

If you dealt with insurance after either of those crashes, just be careful going forward. Adjusters are trained to close claims fast and cheap, and emotional/psychological impacts are often the first thing they'll downplay or ignore. "She seemed fine" is a common one. Make sure anything you're dealing with — including the anxiety — is documented somewhere, even just in your own records.