Matlock & Partners← Back to AskMatlock
The Shoulder
careful-stoat-916

Two years of managing crash PTSD and a tiny fender bender just unraveled everything

I don't even know how to start this but I need to put it somewhere people might actually get it.

About two years ago I was a passenger in a rideshare when we got T-boned at a busy intersection. The impact was on my side of the vehicle. I genuinely believed in those few seconds that I was going to die. Ended up with a fractured vertebra, a concussion that took months to recover from, and soft tissue damage that still flares up. Physically I've come a long way. Mentally... it's a different story.

I finally started driving again about eight months ago. Took me forever to work up to it. I'm in EMDR therapy, I have a psychiatrist I trust, I've built this whole system to keep myself functional. And for the most part it was working. Not perfect — I'd grip the wheel too hard, take weird routes to avoid certain intersections, talk myself through merging like I was defusing a bomb — but I was doing it.

Then three days ago someone tapped my bumper in a parking lot. Barely any damage. Completely minor. And I have been absolutely wrecked ever since.

The flashbacks came back full force. I can't sleep. I called in to two shifts this week and I have more coming up that I can't miss. I live in an area with basically no public transit so driving isn't optional for me.

I just feel so ashamed? Like I've done everything "right" — therapy, meds, lifestyle changes — and one little tap sends me back to square one. I feel broken. I really just want to know if anyone else has been through this kind of setback and actually came out the other side still able to drive and feel okay.

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

8replies

8 replies

Most helpful first

0 / 4000 · posted under a randomly assigned handle