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The Shoulder
mellow-stoat-341

Walked away from a bad crash and now I can't stop shaking — is this normal?

I don't really know how to start this. I was in a serious accident about two weeks ago and physically I'm mostly okay — some bruised ribs, a mild concussion, a few stitches. By every measure the doctors and paramedics kept saying I was "incredibly lucky." And I know they're right. I know that.

But I can't stop replaying it. I'll be making coffee or trying to watch TV and suddenly I'm back in that moment right before impact, bracing myself, not knowing what was about to happen. The dreams are the worst. I wake up at like 3am and my heart is hammering and I genuinely cannot calm down for like an hour.

I keep catching myself thinking — I should just be grateful and move on. People have it so much worse. Other people don't walk out of crashes like mine. So why am I falling apart over something I technically "survived fine"?

To make it all messier, some of the family stuff that came up in the aftermath really stung. When you're lying in a hospital bed thinking you might have just had your last few minutes on earth, you notice pretty fast who shows up and who doesn't. And that hurt is just kind of... sitting on top of everything else now.

I guess I'm asking — did anyone else feel like this after a crash where you came out mostly okay physically? Like am I allowed to be this wrecked about it, or am I making too big a deal out of something I should be grateful I survived?

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