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The Shoulder
genuine-swift-916

Walked away from a wreck that should have killed me and now I feel like a ghost

This is hard to put into words but I'm going to try.

About two weeks ago I lost control on a wet highway and hit a concrete barrier at full speed. My car got absolutely demolished — I'm talking the whole front end crumpled into nothing. The first responders on scene kept saying stuff like "you are incredibly lucky" and one of them straight up told my sister later that they expected to pull someone out in much worse shape.

Me? Sore neck, a bruised shoulder, and a small laceration on my forearm. That's it.

And I know I should feel relieved. I know. But instead I feel... off? Like I'm watching my own life through a window. I'll be in the middle of a normal thing — making coffee, watching TV — and suddenly I just feel completely detached from everything around me. Like none of it is real, including me.

I keep replaying the moment of impact in my head even when I don't want to. Sounds will set it off. A car honking. Rain on a window.

I'm not someone who usually talks about this stuff but I feel like I can't explain it to the people around me without them either panicking or just saying "but you're FINE, you're alive!" Which I know. I know that.

Has anyone else felt this way after walking away from something bad? Like survivor's guilt almost, but also just… disconnected? Does it go away on its own or do I actually need to talk to someone?

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